Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Christmas

My heart is filled with love and praise of my Lord and Savior!

In 4 days we will all be celebrating Christmas. his birth.

Then in 4 months his Resurrection and assent into heaven, where He sits at the right hand of God, his father-our father by adoption.  Waiting for his father to say it is time for the wedding~go get your bride.

It is a story told to us many times over our lifetime.  We all have it memorized.

These are two times of the year that I feel the closest to my Lord. 

God gave it all!

God knew when sin entered the world how He would set it right. 

Generations passed away as the promises of God were prophesied. 

Then one day He sent his Angel Gabriel to visit a young girl.

Then a baby was born…not a grown king as they expected, but a baby.

Then about 30 years later was killed on a cross.

Now 2000 years into the future we still celebrate these two events, but also long for the day of his return.

He will return for his Bride and we must be ready!

God’s promises are true! 

He is sending a savior to this world….He is readying our new home.

As you gather together with your families and friends remember why you are gathering.  It isn’t for that perfect gift from the store, but for that perfect gift from God.

Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Good memories of the past.

 

Our First Christmas

My first Christmas as a married woman, was also my first Christmas as a mother.  We had very little money and didn’t know if we could get a tree.  A tree for a newly married couple means buying the tree, lights, and decorations.  That all added together meant lots of $$$$.  Being newly married I was scared to ask my husband if we could please spare some money and get a tree, we had so many needs at the time.  I wanted it to feel like Christmas and a tree would have done it, I thought. 

I was part of a Mom’s  group at the time and I went to the monthly meeting for December.  They informed us that if we met on a certain night and brought a saw a farmer was donating each of us a tree.  I was so excited, A TREE!  I only had a little car and I knew that the tree wouldn’t fit in there, so I borrowed my dad’s truck.  While asking for the truck I also asked if I could borrow a string of lights and a few decorations from my childhood . 

I loaded Eric up into the truck, he was only 3 months old.  Put Dad’s saw in the back and drove to the location.  I was on time, which is normal for me, but others were late.  They were so late that it was dark when we started out.  We got to the tree farm and it started to rain.  Many of the girls decided that it wasn’t worth is, but I was so desperate to get the tree, that a little rain and dark wasn’t going to stop me.  So I left my sleeping baby in the truck so he would stay warm and set out.  I was on my own with my saw and I found the perfect tree.  I cut it down, by myself and then drug it back to the truck.  I don’t know what anyone else was doing, I had to worry about myself and the baby.  I said goodbye to the leader of the Mom’s group and went on home. 

I put Eric into his swing, which he was already growing too big for, and with Jason’s help drug the tree into our little trailer.  Eric’s eyes got so big.  He couldn’t understand what we were doing.  I wish I could insert a picture here….it was cute, his eyes bulging out of his head  Leaning so far forward in the swing so that he could see everything we were doing.  Jason and I decorated with the decorations, plus the two ornaments I had bought.  Babies first Christmas and Our first Christmas.  My Mom allowed me to go through the Christmas stuff and pick out what was mine to keep and a few to borrow. 

One of the things that my Mom gave me to keep was the angel that I grew up putting on the top of our families Christmas trees.  I kept her safe for many years, but then a tragedy struck and she was ruined.  A replacement, almost exact replica sits on the top of my tree today-how she came to be there is another story.

So here we have an amazing Christmas tree sitting in our house and a very confused baby.  We had a wonderful Christmas that year.  Not because of the tree, but because we were a family and love filled that little home.  I never had to worry about weather or not we would have a tree again.  We have always found a way.

 

I am being flooded with wonderful memories and I can’t wait to write them down.  God is revealing to me who he made me to be through good memories.

~~~~~

I am:

strong, determined, loving, A Mom, A wife, victorious

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Tis the season to be busy? or thoughtful???

I am sitting here in amazement that it is the 2nd of December.  Life has been a bit interesting this last month.  I feel like I have been running like a crazy person, but getting no where.  Busy, but nothing getting done.   I can’t believe it was only a month ago that we took a 3 day weekend and relaxed at the coast with my parents.   We were then hit pretty hard with sickness in my house and my daycare.  Grade reports came out as did some old habits of our youngest child.  I welcomed back a daycare child I thought we were going to be loosing due to the bad economy and welcomed in a new child.  A young girl who entered into the foster care system just before her 3rd birthday.  Praise the Lord she was placed with a family that love the Lord and children.  This week has been a whirl wind of activity and newness in my house.  My husband has been really busy at work due to all the Christmas shoppers-this is a good thing as he makes more when it is busy.  Haven't seen him much, but we, as a family, have made sure to make the most of every minute we are together.  There have been readjustments in priorities.  Time spent a bit more wisely. 

In the middle of all of this came Thanksgiving.  This year we had Thanksgiving at our house the four of us.  I wasn’t sure how this would go because we usually either have family/friends over or go to families homes.  We really enjoyed it.  Our families were missed a lot, but it was kind of fun to start some of our own family traditions.  Jason and I worked together to make our dinner.  We gathered together and everyone ate until full and visiting the whole time.  Our dog even got a good sized plate of leftovers.  Jason decided she needed it lol.  We all cleaned up together and then enjoyed relaxing while our tummies settled.

Now Christmas is coming.  Stephen and I went shopping on Black Friday-it sounded like fun lol.  We had a good time and I learned everything that this little man of mine is thinking would be nice to have to for Christmas for him and his brother.  I wanted to try to take the focus off of him and put it onto other people.  He really enjoyed shopping for his Dad and Papa and thinking of what we could get for other members of our family.

I had been hunting and searching for a good way to do advent with my children this year.  They are older and the cute little calendars with the candy inside them seamed like they were more for little kids….I wanted my boys to learn.  I dug on the internet and all I could find were things for like 1st grade and younger to color and make, but no lessons.  Then like an answer to prayer my amazing friend posted a link  to her FB 

here it is:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HolyExperience+%28Holy+Experience%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

We are getting into these short little lessons and really enjoying the time together in the evenings. 

 

I will get some pictures of some of our activities put up soon, I just don’t have the cord for the camera.

 

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!!  ~Steph

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A bit of wisdom I just thought I would try

I am learning that when I let go of the worry, let go of the reins, God steps in and makes all things work out.   I have wasted a lot of time worrying about how we are going to do this or that.  Where will the money come from to fix the car, feed us, clothes, dental and vision….everything had become a worry.   Then I looked back and realized those things have always been taken care of….we have never wanted for anything.  

 

I decided to let go. 

 

To stop asking God why we always seam to see a break through in our finances just to have another thing go wrong.  To lean on the one who said He will take care of all of my needs.    ~the promise is there in the Bible~

 

He has more than supplied our needs and is starting to fulfill his promise of fulfilling our desires.  His promise that we would see for sure that it is coming from HIS hands and not ours.  I can see that very clearly!

 

I find that I have more time for the important things.  Like God, my husband, kids…..  When you put God first and follow his plans everything thing else simply falls into place.

 

I don’t know all the plans God has for me, my marriage,  my boys, but I know that it is perfect.  I am loving this journey/season of my life…just hang on and keep looking forward to the one who is leading.  The one who knows what is coming and preparing us for it!  I am a bit excited now!  ♥

 

~Loving the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind and with all my strength

 

Mark 12:30

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Watch for up coming blogs…they should be fun

Watch for blogs about my weekends and the non school week with my boys.  We are going to be doing crafts together this weekend and next.  Also all next week they have no school Smile  I am so excited about what we are going to do together to get the house ready for Christmas.  There will be a window craft, making ornaments, baking, making gingerbread houses, and lots more……..  will take lots of pictures of all of our fun!  Most of these will be just the three of us and some will include the daycare kids. 

 

Making the most out of every second with my boys!

Blessing my family in all that I do everyday

So as I was working and doing my chores today.  I was thinking, as I put in the 3rd load of laundry of the day and looking at the 100 more to go that laundry is a never ending chore…you are never caught up.  Then I did the dishes, started the machine and then saw that I still had more dishes.  I realized that dishes are a never ending chore.  Then I starting thinking of all the other never ending things done daily; sweeping, bathrooms, beds…lol  it was a never ending list as well.  The nice thing about all of this, is that I do these things for my family.  I love to take care of them and to show my love through these endless and sometimes thankless tasks.  I am sure they feel the same about some things that they are responsible for.  ~Blessing my family in all that I do everyday.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Mommy down!

So this last week has been crazy!  I went away last week late on Thursday with my husband and boys to stay at a beach house my parents rented.  My sister also joined us all there.  We had a wonderful time.  Reconnecting, resting, shopping, eating, sitting in a hot tub and watching the water.  We slept in and went to bed late.  It truly was a vacation.  We were only gone for like 3 days but it was worth it!  The one crazy scary thing that happened was our house sitter calling us to see if we had come back early.  Our dog who he put outside was in the house, there were foot prints and our house alarm was acting funny.  Hmmm…..so I turned my cell phone on to see if I had missed any calls.  Our alarm company called me at 849 to say that the alarm was activated and since they couldn’t reach us the police were being dispatched to our house to see if we had been robbed.  YIKES is all I can say to that!  Heart sunk and worse fears met….first thought is home invader.  My husband then called the police non emergency phone number and we found out that the officer found the back door open and the dog in the house.  Nothing was missing or messed up.  Praise the Lord.  Our house sitters stuff (this includes his drum set he plays at our Church) was all there as well as ours.  When I got home I just had police and dog foot prints to clean up lol.  Well, I think I found the burglar……my dog has shown me over and over the last couple of days that if you don’t put the stick in the door she can open it.  Smile  Yep the theory is that the dog decided that our friend had been gone long enough and she didn’t like the rain, so she let herself in the house. Clever little pup, but cause a lot of trouble with her new trick.

I worked on Monday, but then on Tuesday I got a call from the family I do child care for, that one of their boys was pretty sick, as were they.  They stayed home that day and through out the day I got sicker and sicker and more nauseated until, yep you guessed it….but I won’t go into all the details.  Lets just say me and my bucket got really close on Tuesday. My dog was by my side the whole time and even missed her dinner time to be with me. She slept when I slept and sat by my bucket when, well when I did.   She did eat, but it was pretty late.   I was done by 10pm that night and slept clear through until 8am Wednesday.  Then I alternated sleeping and eating my B.R.A.T. diet that my nurse friend recommended.  I was great by last night and today I am just being very careful with was I eat.  Still on the B.R.A.T. diet but starting to include some more solids. 

It is amazing to me that when Mommy is down the house kind of falls apart.  The boys have been great and are old enough to get themselves food, but the clean up process needs some work.  The dishes, laundry and floors are not as clean as Mom keeps them.  Today I am trying to catch up on my chores and since they are home from school they get to help me.  I am watching 3 little boys today, but they are being so good and love to “help”, so their stuff is staying cleaned up.  Very happy I get a 3 day weekend to recover some more.   Today I am just pretty exhausted and my muscles are all sore. 

Praise the Lord for his healing love and that my husband and boys have escaped this stomach bug!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Monday Gratitude list

holy experience

I find that it is the simple things that truly bring me pleasure and joy.  I am thankful for all of the little things that happen daily.

My gratitude list 260-278:

~Had an amazing weekend with my boys-Jason had to work, but the three of us found plenty to do and kept ourselves out of trouble(mostly).

~Having the freedom to gather with fellow believers to worship an amazing, awesome God!

~standing next to my children and husband as we lifted our voices is praise

~watching my son gain understanding as he listened to our Pastor give an amazing message

~That my children are understanding in the fact that we don’t go trick-or-treating and always have been-we settled in last night as our family tradition to eat snacks and watch family movies.  So much fun!

~waking up this morning with no trace of my husband….except for the hot coffee that he made me before going to work

~my husband calling me a few hours into my morning just so he could say good morning to me

~listening to my children slowly (Stephen noisily) getting ready for school

~my morning grumpiness going away as I chat with one of my BFFs online

~getting on with my chores as a way that I bless my family daily

~crying tears of joy while of watching a video of one of my pastors/friends wakening up her grandchildren on her surprise visit across the country

~knowing the joy that is filling that home is South Carolina today

~balancing my bank account and finding a deposit, I had been waiting for, is there and at the time we need it…God is good, He provides and His timing is perfect.  He knows our needs and our desires.  He delights in seeing his children taken care of and happy.

~the street sweeper cleaning away the leaves off the street in front of my house-I was going to go out and do that today, now I don’t have to

~The joy on the faces of the little boys I take care of as they saw me from their van

~visiting with their mother who has become one of my dearest friends.  I am so thankful she is in my life

~the joy of working on a blanket to keep us warm at night this winter…if I can get it done for this winter

~I am mostly thankful for my Lord and Savior who died on the cross to set me free.   That the season is coming that we celebrate His birth.  Oh what a Joyful season it is!

Monday, October 25, 2010

learning, always learning

 

I think I am in a learning season of my life.  The first thing was learning how to crochet a year ago.  Then knitting and using a knitting loom.  I have made scarves, blankets, hats.  I love crocheting and blessing people with gifts that I have prayed over.  This is something I will continue doing hopefully for years. 

My Grandma Emma and my Mom both taught me how to sew when I was a little girl, but I never really enjoyed it.  You have to measure and cut and layout and measure and yep measure.  I prefer to just do things, but that doesn’t work with sewing.  I really love quilts and I decided that I wanted a handmade one.  Who better to make me one than myself.  So I am now teaching myself how to quilt.  I am really excited to see how it turns out.  I am 4 days into this project and it is going well so far.  I haven’t given up, even when I have to measure and iron. 

Friday, October 22, 2010

An answer

I have wondered over and over, why?

Why my kids?

Why both of them?

I finally excepted it all and I stand on the knowledge that the Lord is perfect and He knows what he is doing.

I have cried.

I have prayed.

Sitting through meetings and doctor appointments where they tell you what is wrong with your child.

I have watched my children as they improve.  I have changed.  My marriage has gotten stronger.  My relationship with the Lord healed.

We made the heart wrenching decision to medicate our child and we have had positive results.

Over the last few months I have felt God leading me that when I to go back to school it will be to work with children with special needs.  I am still praying over this and seeking God’s will.  At our retreat we were told to not wait to live God’s will for our lives, but to live it now.  I wasn’t sure what to do with this, it sounded great and I knew it was sound advice, but how.  I could see it for the other ladies in my small group, but I was looking at my boundaries.  I can’t go back to school for another five years.  I decided to pray over it.

Last night I got an email from a cousin, who I love, but don’t talk to on a regular basis.  It has been like 6-8 months since we have even said hello to each other.  Busy lives and living so far apart lead to, well losing contact.  Well this email was a cry from one Mom to another Mom.  She is going through similar issues with her children and was wanting advice.  This made me look back at all the other families/children in my daycare and life that I have been connected with that have asked similar questions.  With our making it sound like I am patting myself on the back, I looked at the parents I have calmed down and said it will be ok.  The child needing a bit more patience and understanding.

I know that God is showing me that I didn’t go through the pain for nothing.  He is going to use it for his plans He has for my life.   Again I go to Psalms 139

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Matthew 18:20

I just ran into a hiccup with my business.  I was fine, then scared and then I decided to run to the Bible to a verse I remembered from my childhood.

Mat 18:20
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

I then decided to e-mail some of my friends that I knew would pray the second they got my message.  The worry was lifted and I was at peace.  Then things started happening in answer to our prayers.  My husband and I got some answers that we were praying for.  We are still waiting for a couple of miracles, but even the little ones that lead up to the big ones are worth it.

God is in control and all of his promises WILL be fulfilled!!!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday’s gratitude list 10-18-10

holy experience

 

Gratitude list 222-260 or more  lol

My heart is overflowing with thankfulness today!  I almost couldn’t relax last night thinking over everything that occurred over the weekend.

Truelife Church had its women’s retreat.  We are always in beautiful locations, but I think this year it was the best.  We stayed in a house in Government Camp Oregon.  This is located just below Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood.

I had an amazing, kids free Friday shopping, having lunch together and driving to Government camp with my friend.  We went a strange, but beautiful way through the middle of the mountains and farming areas between Corbett and Sandy Or.  We also had amazing visits on the way there and back home.  Tried my best not to get her carsick.

The owner is a sweet Grandma lady that provides comfort, prayer, food and much more.  It is large enough for the 26 of us to feel comfortable, but small enough that you have to be around the fellow ladies from the Church.  This setup was perfect as we were talking of relationships.

A group of us took a hike around a beautiful lake, talking the whole time.  Legs are still recovering from it, but it was the best couple of hours.

I learned how to paint my nails from one friend and another straightened my hair for me.  Visiting the whole time.

I came away from this weekend with renewed dreams that I had thrown to the side believing that I couldn’t ever fulfill them.  That my past mistakes that made it so I had to throw them away forever.  I will fulfill them, just not the way I thought, but the way God had originally planned.  Also with knowing who I am and that I am perfect.  That things I felt were flaws in my make up, God put there on purpose and intends them to be used for his good.  Knowing that the long time friends and new friends are there now and always will be.  God gave me comfort that as I am stepping forward and following his will to be a part of the Church plant, that these friends he has placed in my life will still be there and that there are many more to come.  He told me that I am not on my own, He has it all worked out.

So much more happened that was even more personal and I know I am not the only one that had life changing moments. 

We then came home to our Church for service and I was able to worship with my Church family.  Then teach a short lesson to the children.  I got to be a part of my Church congregation as three amazing couples were placed into their God given leadership roles.  I got to watch their children witnessing it as well.

I got home to my three guys who missed me a lot.  A very clean house, with a mowed front yard.  Also my dog that basically knocked me down, she missed me so much.

 

Had a phone call visit with my Mom about the house we are all going to go stay together in for a wonderful weekend away.  It is only in a little over 2 weeks from now!

My wonderful BFF came over and watched a movie with me until my husband got home from work.  Then I had a wonderful evening just visiting and catching up with him.

I love my life!  I love that God teaches me each day how much I have to be thankful for.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Another not deep funny post....

Being in a funny, light mood I must write a funny, light blog today. So enjoy a look into my thinking. lol


I love Jane Austen movies (not a surprise to most of you). I have watched all of the movies based on her famous novels, a twisted up version of P & P and the one based on her life. I have pretty much watched every version of every story. This is a bit crazy, bit over the top, but I just love "love stories" and hers have a quality and cleanliness to them. You know that you will not be hit with bad language, sex or nudity. They are clean and safe.

Now the sad thing is I also own all of her books, but as to date I have only read Pride and Prejudice completely. I have started the others, in the past, but never quite finished them. About a week ago I decided this was silly, so I picked up my third favorite, Mansfield Park. I have made it most of the way through and I have to be honest, it is better than any of the movies made off of it. You get a true feeling of what Jane intended each character to be, with out the liberties of a director.

I hope to go on and read the other 4 Novels, in hopes that I might learn something new about each story and to say that I have read them.

Well that is me being honest :) Learning to love reading more and more everyday!

Monday, October 11, 2010

10-10-10~gratitude list

holy experience

Yesterday was Oct 10, 2010.  That is a pretty cool sounding date, but it was a strange day for me.  My sister works in a nursing home and sees daily the affects of Alzheimer’s on people.  She organized a group to walk in the Eugene memory walk.  I joined her because it seamed important, but I didn’t understand until I got to the walk.  I knew that my grandfathers birthday was in October and that towards the end of his life he had the beginning signs of Alzheimer’s disease, but I didn’t connect the dates until my Mom gave me the group button to wear. 

10-10-1930

Happy 80th

Birthday

In memory of Carl

Creepin’ along

for Alzheimer’s

10-10-2010

He passed away about 3 years ago, to me it was just yesterday.  Aside from my Dad, he was my favorite man on earth and we were very close.  My Grandfather is now in heaven with our Lord and so I had stopped celebrating his earthly birthday.  I hope that isn’t abnormal or horrible, but he is where we all, as Christians, long to be.  There is no pain, no forgetfulness…..only worship of His Lord and Savior.  My Grandfather’s legacy to me and my children is that of worship and prayer.  I remember all the love, the prayers, the devotion to His Lord.  He taught his family to serve selflessly.  He was a man who would give the shirt off his back even if he didn’t have another.  I am so thankful that he was my Grandfather and for all that he taught me….all the memories-but I am even more excited about where he is now and what he is doing now!!!

It was amazing to see all the people walking in honor of someone they loved.  To see all the shirts, buttons and love.  It was even more amazing to tell my boys about one of the men who helped to make me the Woman of God that I am and to pass on the legacy of serving the Lord to them.

The day to me wasn’t sad.  It was amazing.  The best part was that my Mother, who to my knowledge hadn’t been walking for exercise as a general rule, got out there with us.  She walked 2 miles!  I then found out that she had been walking every day for the last couple of weeks to get ready and plans to keep it up!  I am so PROUD of her.  We did the first 2 miles together as a family.  My Dad, sister, boys and I went on to finish the 5 mile walk.  I was encouraged by her and will make sure that I am walking on the same days as her.  This will be a great motivation for the both of us.

God wants us to be healthy!

Exodus 15:2
The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.

continuing my gratitude list~211-221

I am thankful that:

~my Grandfather served the Lord and my Grandmother and the rest of us still are

~that we are free in this country to Worship, pray, and attend Church

~My mother is walking for exercise again

~improved relationships with family

~my children are doing well in school

~women’s retreat is this week

~for the rain

~daily devotions that point out God’s love for every one of my unique qualities

~and he plans to use them for his purpose

~seeing God’s hand on our finances and how he is helping us-his plans are perfect!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday’s gratitude list……..

holy experience

I am sitting here on this Monday morning in an empty house.  It is a strange feeling, but a very needed break.  I get a whole hour and a half to myself today.  My desk is situated in the nicest spot, in my opinion of the house.  I get a wonderful view out my front window.  There are trees, sunshine and a view at my fenced in yard.  I can hear the birds and watch the squirrels scampering about looking for their winter food,  My tomato plants are still looking great loving this warm end to September.  The smell of rain is still in the air, but it is drying up. 

my desk 006

I love nature and I worship the creator of it!  The Lord must love beautiful things.  Since we are made in His image it is no wonder that there is all of this beauty and that we love it.  Just putting two and two together. 

my desk 005 my desk 004

I am continuing my gratitude list today.  It has been a little while since I have added to it. 

 

190~210

~My children~

01-24-2010 09;01;06PM

~The beauty I see outside my window~

~eating a meal with my boys and best friend and then staying up until 1 am visiting with her and enjoying a Jane Austen movie~

pickle boy 002 enjoying the giant pickles

~that my children can be so silly that they make me laugh and light hearted~

~enjoying a morning visit with my mother-in-law Saturday~

~lunch out with my best friend and a sweet little girl I miss so much~

~A worship song sung over me by the Lord (through a lovely singer) about how much he loves me and wants to be with me~

~and that I have it in my iTunes library to play anytime I want to (My Beloved by Kari Jobe)~check it out if you want to know how the Lord feels about and sees you!

~watching my baby boy being touched by the Holy Spirit and responding to a tug at his heart to be closer to the Lord~

~seeing myself even more for who God sees and being able to look at my image in the mirror and seeing beauty.  He made me how I am and He sees beauty and perfection.  Healing of the mind is wonderful~

~teaching my children this~

~learning something knew about the Bible as I was teaching the Kid’s Church yesterday….guess the teacher was also the student and always will be~

~A quiet rainy Sunday afternoon spent with my boys playing a game~

~the sun shining through my window as I read the word of the Lord and listen to Worship music~

~that the Lord orchestrates time off for me that I so desperately need, even if it is only an hour or two~

~my friends thinking of me as my husband is away and checking in on me yesterday~

~the beauty of the word of the Lord~

~this flower made by my son for me~

pickle boy 008

~my boys and I are no longer sick~

~my husband will be home tomorrow evening~

------

Psalms 139 is my verse of choice today

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I wonder if that is how God sees me???

My favorite thing about my job as a daycare provider also about being a Mom, besides the hugs, is watching when a child learns a new thing.  I am watching a little boy that is about 21 months old and the last couple of weeks have been fun.  He is learning his words, instead of screaming to get what he wants.  He is learning his colors and about his world.  The best is watching him “read”.  His favorite activity is to sit with a book on his lap and chatter to me about what it might say.  I only understand a few of the words, but the stories are great!

He is learning that if he turns a basket upside down then the things inside will fall out.  If he gets hurt I will pick him up, say its ok and he will go about his day-usually doing the same thing that got him hurt in the first place.  Hmm that sounds familiar.  Right now his needs are basic.  He needs love, comfort, food, clean diapers and someone who is understanding. 

The next stage of kids are the Pre-school/Kindergarten.  They need me in their minds less, but they also need me more.  They have a definite view of life and that it revolves around them.  Man they are cute though!  This is when they are learning what words mean, how to play make believe with another child, and how to let go of needing Mom or their caregiver for everything.  They still run to you for comfort if they get hurt, but nothing solves hurts better than that invention called a band aide.  They question all that you do or say, but that is part of the learning process.

Both of these stages you can have great conversations with, but I am learning that the ages that come next especially since it is my kids is the school age.  The opinions have knowledge behind them, sometimes they only have enough knowledge to think they know better than Mom.  I love to visit with my kids and see what they are thinking.  I love to teach them the “deeper” part of things.  The light bulb still goes off with new discoveries just like the toddler.  The hugs are still there, but happen at sweet and unexpected times.

Children fascinate me.  My favorite thing to do is sit down, ask them a question and then just let them talk.  You can learn so much about how they think, if what you taught them they got or do you need to re-teach them.  I know that God has done this with me.  Lets me talk and think and then steps in and re-teaches me.  If I get hurt he patches me up and if I do the same thing again he re patches.  He delights when I run to him, just for a hug.  Just to know that he is still there.  Still in control, even though in my childish way I am trying to be in control.  I read his word and pray for understanding, so he calmly and gently puts me on the right path to understanding-sometimes a few time over again.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Psalms 139

Sometimes I look around and realize that life is not how I planned it.  People I was always close to are gone, or at least not a part of my daily life.  Friends come and go-friends that you always thought you would be close to.  You move from one house, school, Church to another.  Life changes just like the sand after the waves hit it.  It is something that you know will happen, but are you ready for it.  Have you ever stood on the sand as the wave is going back out to sea and felt it slowly coming out from under your feet.  You can try to dig your toes in deeper or let it go and see where it takes you.  There is only one constant in my life that has never changed and has been there since my conception and that is God. 

Psalm 139:1-18 (New Living Translation)

Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
      and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
      You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
      and when I rest at home.
      You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
      even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
      You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
      too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
      I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
      if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
      if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
      and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
      and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
   To you the night shines as bright as day.
      Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
   Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

I find comfort in this knowledge and am very thankful.  Life isn’t the way I thought it would be and that is ok because His ways are perfect.  I am who He made and I will do what He says I should do.

Friday, September 17, 2010

books :) Another funny blog about us

From the time I was a child until I was married for about 5 years I hated reading.  The schools would make me read to do book reports, so I would read the Ramona books or books about cats.  The good news is that there are about 8 Ramona books and numerous cat books in school libraries, plus we moved to a few different schools, so I was able to do the same reports for different schools.  Now I wouldn’t recommend this to children for many reasons, but that is what I did. I hated to read.  It didn’t catch up to me until about 7th-8th grade when they wanted me to read at my grade level.  Well I was stubborn and refused to read any more than they said I had to. 

I then expanded my reading list to Anne of Green Gables and all the following books written by Lucy Maud Montgomery as well as the Love comes Softly Books by Janette Oke.  Also the book An Old fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott. I would read the books that the school made me read plus these books over and over and over.  I read them all so often that I had to buy them a couple of times because they were falling apart.

Then I married into a family of literature lovers and readers!  Oh no, how was I going to fit into this family.  Every time we all got together, for a long weekend or a vacation, we would visit, eat and then a couple of people would find a corner and read.  My husband spends about 22 hours a day reading….not a joke.  He once ran his bicycle into a pick-up because he was reading and riding (don’t tell him I told you).  My son started reading fluently at 2 1/2 –3 years old.  I was lost and didn't know what to do.  I tried to pick up a liking for reading, but it wasn’t happening, so I would just reread the same books over and over.  I could tell you all of the stories, probably word for word. 

Then one day about 8 years ago I picked up a new book and I loved it.  It only took me a couple of days to read.  I then read another book, and another, and another.  I ran out of books.  Then the library became my friend and then I started buying books.  I have also joined book clubs.

This has carried on to the point, that now if I have extra money I am looking through Amazon.com and Christian books.com.  My favorite stories are Christian based 1800 love stories.  I will always have a special place for Ramona, Anne and Polly, but I am so glad that my interests have expanded.  There was a whole world out there to explore.

I never understood my husband and his need to have so many books.  Now I do.   I love the feel of holding a book, the smell of an old or new book and not knowing what you will find between the front and back covers.   Between my husband, myself and our boys, we could probably open a book store…..that is if any of us are willing to sell any.  You see that is the other thing.  We keep all of our books!  Jason especially.  My room could be a library.  We have several book cases and totes full.  I love to read books and give them away if I find the right person for the book (if it is a favorite, then I will buy it again). 

So if you want to know what we are doing at any given time, the answer is reading. 

The huge question now is what will a family of 4, that love to collect books do when faced with the question….to buy an e-reader or not?  It would of course mean more than just one or two…we all read at the same time.   :)  I am not sure how that will be answered.  I am scared to find out, since it is a spendy investment.  It would definitely save us luggage space when we travel  lol

Monday, September 13, 2010

missed opportunities

I was sitting at a school waiting to pick a child up after her day of classes.  While doing this I was watching people.  This is one of my hobbies.  There were kids and parents going here and there, most in too big of a hurry.  A woman and her child caught my eye.  She reached down in a motion that the child mistaken, as did I, for a hug, but that is not what she was doing.  The woman was only trying to take off the the little boys back pack so he could get into the car, but if she had been looking down at him and not been in such a big hurry she could have had a great hug. 

What a sad missed opportunity, but that isn’t what I was thinking.  What I was thinking was how many missed opportunities have I had with my kids, my daycare kids and the kids I minister to at Church.  Also missed opportunities with visiting with my husband, family and friends.  Most importantly with God.  I missed a huge opportunity of spending time with God this morning and almost forgot to wish my son a Happy Birthday.  I was too consumed with worry over our finances.  Last night we were hit with a surprise, but instead of hitting my knees and asking God to help us figure out what to do I got on my worrying hat and tried to bite my nails down to almost nothing.  What did that accomplish, just a sleepless night, lots of tears and almost missing the most important day of my 9 year olds life.  I am so grateful that I remembered and gave him is birthday hug before school.

We got the boys off to school, unfortunately due to my tears they were worried about me all day, so I had to explain to them that all was ok.  They should never have known that we had even the slightest worry today, since it turned out to be just fine.  I quickly fixed my priorities.  I went to God and to God’s word.  I asked a wonderful friend to pray for us today as we worked through our problems with God’s help.

During my break I balanced and checked and did all the bookwork to figure out what was needed to be done.  We were fine, tight but fine.  When we don’t let God handle the “stuff” in our lives we get overwhelmed and needlessly worry.  I had procrastinated on things I should have stayed on top of and so the problem was bigger in my mind then in reality.   God is in control and is taking care of us.  This is his promise to his people, made so long ago.

After getting my mind put back together I decided to ambush my son with love after school.  I heard him get home and got to where he couldn’t see me.  I bounded out of the house yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  Then I grabbed him and kissed him all over the face.  Then found out how his day was.  I then let him know that I was sorry that I got him worried this morning.  We had a great after school visit about all that he did.  I plan to never miss another hug or talking opportunity with either of my son’s.  I plan on never missing one with my husband or other people.  I especially plan on never missing one with God.

Now to ambush the other boy, since I can hear him opening the gate now lol

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Happy 12th Birthday Eric!!!!!

12 years 9months and 2 weeks ago an angel was sent into my life that would help the Lord to change me, my life and the life of many others.

 Eric baby

 

When I delivered my boy on September 9th, 1998 he was 9lbs 4oz and I had lost about 40 lbs in 7 minutes.  LOL  HE WAS BIG, but even bigger were the blue eyes at looked up at me.  I knew that this child needed me, but I didn’t realize until much later how much I needed him. 

 

Eric and Stephen (3 and 1 week)

When you see my son the first thing you see is that he looks like my father, but when you talk to him, he is just like his Dad. ericandfrog10-28-2009 10;17;12AM

 

Eric is a reader, a thinker and a dreamer.  He loves deeply and fights even harder for those he loves.  I know that God has set my son apart special.  I know that the struggles Eric faces now in life, God intends to use for HIS purpose.  My boy is unique, special and amazing. 

 

first day of school 2010 018

The meaning of the name Eric is Always Ruler

What Eric Means

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Being a new Mom this year!

I am a Mom.  That sentence all on its own sounds like nothing, until you get a look at the “job” description.  I am a professional dish washer, laundry washer, sweeper and at vacuuming.   I am an “expert” in math, reading, writing and anything else the teacher throw at me.  I am an expert in behavior issues, health issues and again anything else that can come at me in a day.

The most important part of my “job” is that my children learn about the Lord. I am to teach them how to serve Him and have a relationship with him.  Part of this is to lead by example and the other is to teach them.  My favorite time with my boys is when we are in the car driving somewhere.  I like to talk to them.  To make them think and to teach them.  We talk about everything from what the mountain ranges are called, what is to the east or west of us, what they want to be when they grow up, to how to talk to God.  The list goes on and on.  When we are not talking we are singing or just enjoying the view.

This year, as I keep stating, is the year of letting go.  I am letting go of the reigns a little and giving them more responsibility.  They are going to learn that with responsibility comes rewards and consequences.   I have posted in each of their rooms a responsibility chart that tells them what they need to do each day and what time they have to be where.  I have also bought them alarm clocks and watches.  They will be rewarded when I don’t have to remind them or give them warnings and of course the opposite when I have to.  My plan is to wait until they get home from school to talk about how they did in the morning and at school to decided weather or not they get their reward or punishment.  My goal there is to make sure that what happens in the morning doesn’t effect their school day.  Such as today, my youngest will not be happy with no computer after school today, but morning routine should go better tomorrow :)

So far it is going well and the learning has started.  We are taking it one step at a time.  I am going about this with a lot of prayer and patience.  I am armed with the Word of God, books by amazing people-Stormie Omartian, Dr. Dobson, Dr. Kevin Leman and others- and my experience of 12 years.  I know that they are going to grow a lot this year by my letting go and letting God be in control.  I also feel that I am going to grow a lot this.  I see changes in all of us this year!

 

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Lord answers prayers in ways we don’t think of and at the RIGHT moment! His time is perfect!!

Today is the first day of school.  My boys are getting big so fast, I feel like the time is slipping through my fingers like sand.  Eric will be going to 6th grade at the Jr. High today.  This has been hard for Mom to face for the last several months, but he is ready.  So I let go and pray over him. 

 first day of school 2010 018

Stephen, my adventurer is going into the 3rd grade.  I have no worries with this one because he has the same teacher Eric has.  I know her and we have a good  Parent/teacher relationship.  This however is the fist year that big brother will not be keeping an eye on him for me, meaning more trust from me and more responsibility for him.  Both are good things

 his back pack was too heavy for him, so I ended up driving them to school :)  first day of school 2010 014

This is my year of letting go, so I am in se veral ways.  I am putting their morning routines and such more on them than me.  They both have alarm clocks and watches.  I put a list of what to do each morning, afternoon and at night before bed.  No surprises, just rewards if they accomplish it, are not late to school, get their chores done and get their school work done.

 first day of school 2010 020

I also have to let go because they have both, but mostly Eric reached the age of Mom can’t fix everything.  They have to handle at least some of it.  The good thing is that I can pray and God can be there with them and fighting on their behalf.

 

After writing this I got a phone call.  I have been praying for whoever was going to be Eric’s Speech Pathologist and I found out today who it is going to be.  His Speech path that he has had since 2nd called me this morning before school to tell me that she is sharing a position with another lady.  She will be at Whitman elementary and at Lane Middle School.  We are keeping our Speech Path at least through 8th grade now.  The Lord saw fit to answers this prayer in this special way.  I am so thankful and even more at ease now.

 

We we go school year 2010-11 The Lord goes before us and makes the way :)

Monday, September 6, 2010

a silly little post about something that means a lot to me……

I have had my lap top computer for a couple of years, but I have had to move myself, computer and work from place to place.  Weather it be the kitchen table, Jason’s desk, couch, oh everywhere.  This makes a mess out of what I am working on.  I use my computer for everything, from work, to Kid’s Church, to personal stuff like this blog.  About 6 months ago I started hinting that a desk would be nice, but we have a very small house.  Very small!  I didn’t know what to do or how to ask for one.  Then about 2 weeks ago I was driving down 72nd and almost at Woodstock I saw a very small desk.  It was small enough to go into my corner that I was eyeing for just that use and it had drawers.  I told Jason about it and asked him to look at it. 

My husband is a shopper, and I mean he can find anything you are wanting for a deal.  He saw that i was serious and started looking on Craigslist.  I thought for sure that we could be finding a desk on there.  We found one and put the Phone # in the phone on the way to get shoes for the boys we went and looked at the desk at the little shop.  Sadly it was perfect except they wanted $35 and I only had about $15 to spend.  So we called up the guy with the other desk that was only $10, but it was to short to fit the filing cabinet under it….this is a requirement or I won’t fit in the corner.  My husband is also a pretty handy guy and can built stuff.  So we decided that the next day we would go to Home Depot and price boards and stuff to make a desk.  Of course we each went into the store with differing ideas, once I figured that out I calmly and quietly listened to him….he was the one that would be making it.  So after an hour we found a shelf bracket and a beautiful too long for where he measured  white shelf board.  I had in my mind how to fix that, just turn it the other way and us the other wall.  We bought both, but I had an idea that we wouldn’t need the bracket. 

We got home and I as it was his day off I didn’t want him to work on it, no need to have a frustrating afternoon after such a great morning together.  I was sitting in the living room and looking at the corner where this was all to happen for me and a light bulb went off!!!    The filing cabinet was to be one let of the desk and the bracket was to hold up the other side.  I was a bit disappointed that I wouldn’t get drawers, but life would go on with out, right   lol    I went out into the garage and found my empty set of plastic drawers, it fit under the board and held up the other end perfectly.  This project only cost $9.95!  Now I have a desk, it isn’t the greatest to look at, but it is mine.  I now have a corner of the house that is mine to do with as I want to and to work from and all Jason had to do was take me to Home Depot :)

This is where I will read my Bible and journal or blog in the mornings, as I watch the sun come up. 

This is where I will read other blogs and get inspirations and words from God or even a bit of a laugh. 

This is where I will pray in the mornings for the day.

Jason gave me the lamp from his desk, since he doesn’t use it and I will be putting my beautiful picture of apples back up over my work area. 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Psalms 20

It is strange to write this post after what I wrote yesterday, but they both to together so well.  The peaks and valleys of worry have been happening a lot to me the last couple of months. 

I know His ways are perfect from what I posted yesterday, but you can still move through times of doubt and questions.   I had a moment like that today.  I had been cleaning to keep my mind busy.  I got done and flopped onto my bed in tears.  I am very scared looking at our financial situation, but I know God’s promises are always fulfilled.  We may not know how or when, but He does.  As I was laying there and I asked God again –why is this taking so long for the answers to come.  I asked Him again to please fulfill our needs and his promise that He will fulfill our wants and dreams as well-He answered me in his quiet way.  “Go pick up your Bible and read”.  So I did.  I looked down at my Bible and I read

Psalm 20
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.
      May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.
2
May he send you help from his sanctuary
      and strengthen you from Jerusalem.[a]
3 May he remember all your gifts
      and look favorably on your burnt offerings.
Interlude

4 May he grant your heart’s desires
      and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
      and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
   May the Lord answer all your prayers.

 

He chose his own words to remind and comfort me for a second day in a row.

~About a month ago we had a guest speaker at our Church.  I had gone into Church that day determined that I would just sneak in, not be noticed and quietly leave.  God had been working on me in my quiet times as well as very publicly on some matters and I wasn’t ready for another public session.  -Again His ways are perfect!  He also knows what we need and when we need it.-  Unfortunately I also went into Church will a huge burden of worry about our finances on my shoulders and the Lord alerted the guest speaker (who didn’t know me) to this.  The words of the Lord that came to me that day from the mouth of this guest speaker were.  “God will fulfill your needs, which are great, as well as your desires very soon and you as well as everyone else will know that it the help came from Him.”

That night when I was still just laying there awake thinking on all that was said that morning in Church, I cried out to God just before falling asleep “we need help or a response from the city or TSA, something has to change” 

That same night our cat got sick and we were faced with a vet bill to put him to sleep, but we didn’t fear how we would take care of it because of God’s word the day before.  That afternoon we received the rest of our tax refund money, which covered the cat and a few other needs. 

Then in the next week things started happening.  We thought that our answer had finally come!  We got the call for Jason to come in for an interview with the city and testing started with TSA.  We were very excited and felt that God had done exactly what He had said he would do the day before.  Things moved quickly for about a week and a half and then all went quiet for a month and as of this morning still are…. discouragement has started to creep back into our hearts slowly over the month, but we have prayed many times together and each time we have felt the peace of God on our situation. 

My worry level goes up and down right now, but I keep my faith and trust in the Lord.  Ps 18:30  “As for God, His way is perfect!”  He knows our needs and wants.  It is also said over and over in the Bible that God keeps his promises.  When I get week God just keeps leading me to the verses that I need for that day and that moment.

I know that God is doing something amazing on our behalf and that there is a reason that we have to wait right now, but I can’t wait for the last part of the verse to happen

4 May he grant your heart’s desires
      and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
      and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.

   May the Lord answer all your prayers.

Any one who reads this please be praying along side us.  I have been pretty quiet about my worries, but I feel it is time to ask for some people to join us in prayer.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

His ways are perfect

As I get the priorities in my life corrected and in order I have also been making some small private goals. I have been working on my health and making sure that I pick up healthy habits.  More water and less sugary drinks, more exercise and less sitting around, more reading and less tv

I have also been working on my spiritual life.  With out going into a lot of detail.  I am a huge worrier as I have said in many other posts and lately my trust level has been down.  I know that God is in control and that his ways are perfect, but sometimes at night in the dark, very quiet times my mind takes over and the worry enters in.   The worry over how are we going to take care of this or that, when will the phone calls or mail with the answers come…….. I have been doing better about praying through these and quoting the scriptures that I have been taught in my prayers.  Each day the worry gets less and less. 

I love to read in my leisure time and I have been asking God to lead me to books that can help me to grow spiritually.  This week I have been reading a book and the scripture the author keeps bringing up when the characters are in a similar place as I have described is

Psalm 18:30-32 (New International Version)

30 As for God, his way is perfect;
       the word of the LORD is flawless.
       He is a shield
       for all who take refuge in him.

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
       And who is the Rock except our God?

32 It is God who arms me with strength
       and makes my way perfect.

 

when the worry takes over the best thing to do is to pray the scriptures, to trust the Lord and to WAIT on him.  This is hard, but when you let go and let God do the work the answers that come are so correct and so right.  It is rewarding to see that God loves us and is the one that takes care of us.  HIS ways are PERFECT!

So right now I wait and pray.  I know the Lord is in control.  He sees our needs and wants before we do and He is working on it, even if we cannot see the answers or the work being done on our behalf.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My boys.

13 more days of summer.  I am sitting outside again today, taking care of the daycare, but also watching my boys play some game that they made up together.   They make me smile.

I have gotten a lot of time to be with my boys this summer.  The change in daycare kids that I had a year ago changed the dynamics of my daycare.  Kids moving on that I miss and babies getting older.  I still take care of many kids, but my attention has been focused more on my boys.  Also with the change in Jason’s job the three of us have a lot of time together on off hours.  I am learning, as they get older, the subtle and not so subtle differences in my two boys.  I know that some of the differences have to do with their ages, but personalities are truly surfacing now.

Eric, the almost 12 year old, is my quiet thinker.  You know that when he starts to talk that he has something very important to say.  He thinks about things for a long time before he actually says anything.  He gets hummer that others his age might miss.  My Eric is not aware of how other people are feeling, except for me.  He has always been a comforter of his Mother.  He can tell if I am sick, sad, angry or hurt without me saying anything and he can react accordingly.  If you are looking for Eric, just look for where the books and a nice comfy place to sit…you will find him there.

Stephen my almost 9 year old is my little fireball.  He is always moving, thinking and talking.  He is as smart as his brother in many ways, but the difference is he usually is thinking so fast and reacting even faster that he doesn’t think of the consequences until the action has already been done.  He is the  one that gets into the most trouble, but usually remembers not to do the wrong thing twice.  His memory is amazing.  He is also following in bother’s footsteps and you will find him most often when he is quiet reading in a corner as well.

For a long time these differences in personality made for many brotherly battles.  I have noticed that they are getting along better most of the time this summer.  They are either learning how to deal with each other or liking each other more, hopefully both.  This school year is the start to them going to different schools for several years.  The next time they are in school together Eric will be a senior and Stephen a Freshman in High School (that was hard to type lol).  I truly feel that they are going to get even closer over the next few years while going to separate schools.  As Stephen gets older and calms down some and Eric learns to more on how to “deal” with more people/personalities they will become friends more and more.  At least this is the prayer from this mother’s heart.

I love my boys and who they are becoming so much.  I am so thankful for them both and for their uniqueness .  God knew what he was doing when He gave them to me and I hope that I am making Him proud by how I am taking care of and raising these amazing gifts.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Power of prayer

Harvest

I have been in an organizing mode this last week.  My Thursday, Friday and Saturday were filled with it.  It was almost like I felt if I didn’t get it done my world would end.  After having attacked most of my house I still had a feeling of “something is still out of order”.  So I went  after my priorities and  schedule.  Saturday my husband and I went to bed on time and I set my alarm for 2 hours before I had to leave my house. Then I crossed the biggest hurdle and got up when the alarm when off!  This gave me time to turn on the worship music, get dressed and ready, EAT (this is usually a missed event for me on Sunday) and then I had time to sit and relax.  For the first time in months I was able to get into the van on time (on a Sunday)with everything I needed.  It is amazing what a little extra time did for me yesterday.  My head was clear and I was able to focus. 

So in keeping with this change I decided last night to end my evening differently.  We went to bed on time again, then instead of watching tv to go to sleep I read a book.  I chose a book that would actually change my life instead of a fun book and read until I hit a point that I wanted to think over. 

I have been worrying and my anxiety level has been high lately.  I was reading “Praying through the Scriptures” by Judson Cornwall.  The part that stopped me was

“Anxiety is destructive. It saps energy, restricts our thinking, limits our joy and hinders our relationship with God.”  The Scripture reference he then put was 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting ALL your care upon Him, for he cares for you.”

I chose last night to stop shortly after reading that, turn out my light and pray that scripture out loud.  My prayers lately have been crying out to God and telling him what is needed to fix my problems and “demanding” that he solve it the way I see fit.  This is not God’s way.  We are to give up our problems and struggles to him and let him come back with the solution.  He is our Father and desires to be the one to take care of us.  I went to sleep with this scripture still going through my mind and it actually was through out my dreams and I woke up with the words still coming out of my mouth in a prayer.  My worries and problems seam so small today.  They are still there, but I know that my Father God is already taking care of things.  I His time the answers will come and the promises He made fulfilled.

 

<center><a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/"><img alt="holy experience"  src="http://i534.photobucket.com/albums/ee349/GDest07/ann%20voskamp/mondaybutton2.png" title="holy experience"/></a></center>

 

166-189

  • watching the vegetable plants that were planted months ago produce food
  • visiting with my husband as we took a walk
  • My job and his that provide for our basic needs
  • My son wanting to cuddle with me as I was working on a blanket
  • us laughing as we were trying to figure out how to keep said blanket covering us as I worked on the rows
  • That God heard my lonely cry and 2 years ago sent me the perfect friend who now calls me her best friend and I call her mine
  • Her spending the afternoon with me on my loneliest day of the week(Jason works Sundays right now and they are very lonely for me) then making pizza with best friend and laughing over silly things
  • finding a treasure of a book I didn’t know I owned and God speaking life changing lessons to me through the words
  • my husbands amazing family who love me as if I have always belonged
  • my Church family that missed me after a 2 week absence
  • The gate in my front yard, paint in the playroom, a solution to the shower door issue and the finishing touches that my husband decided to surprise me with
  • my neighbor who calls my kids her grandkids and includes them in her school clothes shopping list and Christmas list
  • Tea dates with this neighbor
  • Books
  • The beautiful bright moon that we have been blessed with this last week.  It is so beautiful !
  • Hugs
  • Friends
  • love
  •  

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I'm back!!!

I just got back from vacation and I am still in "vacation mode", but I have managed to get back into the swing of things, sort of. Many surprises were waiting for me. My husband worked on his "Honey do list". A year ago he built me a fence so that the daycare kids and myself could be safe in the front yard. I got home to find a gate. Now we are even safer and my small baby gate can be used in the house again. He also painted my Playroom/Stephen's bedroom. This really needed to happen as the paint job we did 4 years ago has been scratched off over the years by the kids and toys. The living room was touched up and finished. The greatest gift he gave me was taking down the deadly shower doors. For the last 2 years I have gotten many bruises on my feet from the doors coming out of their tracks and finding my feet! Now we have a curtain rod and a lovely cream colored curtain (that he picked out). The list is still pretty long, but these were on the top of the list.

I am so blessed! God gave me an amazing man to walk through life with and to take care of me and our children.

I woke up early this morning, no alarm, I just woke up. It felt good to get a morning shower, in my "new" shower. Usually I wake up later than my alarm so my showers are usually taken at night and then I end up with a hair mess in the morning. lol Anyway I got my shower, took care of some things and got some Bible reading time in before work and before my kids woke up. I have had such a relaxed morning that I am not motivated to get going....so I will go get a cup of coffee that was made by my loving husband. lol Then outside time for the kids and I! I might get to the laundry or maybe that can wait until tomorrow.

I just got back from vacation and I am still in "vacation mode", but I have managed to get back into the swing of things. My vacation gave me time to learn a lot about myself and my family. I haven't taken a whole week off from my daycare in a long time, but it is needed every once in a while. God knows what we need and sends it at the right time, even if we thought something else would have been better.

______________
Today's morning devotion time.
Ephesians 2:3-5

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

letting go

I am learning more about myself as a mother and about my oldest son this week while he is away. I have a unique situation as a mother. Since he was in 2nd grade we have been advocating for him and his school situation. He has had struggles, but we have had to have a balance between this is the Aspergers and this is just behavior issues. I have had to be a parent who looks at each situation we are going into and prepare myself for what could go wrong and make the right adjustments or inform Eric of what is going to be happening. People with AS don't like surprises. The problem is that while Eric has been growing, maturing and learning how to handle situations, I have been stuck back at the beginning.

I made a huge step and allowed Eric to go to Youth camp this year. This involved a bus ride, eating with others, playing games, sleeping somewhere else for 3 nights, worship and preaching services. All with out me. I do have a person there with him who is aware of AS and how to help in situations, but I am not there. Since I have never been to the camp I wasn't able to "warn" Eric about this or that. I had to let go! I had to once again say "OK God he is yours". I took Eric to the Church the kids were all meeting at. He was so excited and had no reservations about going. I looked at him and said ~"it's time for me to let you go a bit more isn't" and he, with a big smile on is face and a squeeze of my hand, nodded his head.

I dropped him off, got in the van, cried and prayed. My son is growing up this week and so am I.

We have been getting small videos each day and what I see in them makes me proud. He is participating, worshiping, praying and I guess eating a lot. My worries about him and how he will be in life are getting less and less. He has had the training and knowledge necessary to make it in Jr. High and in life. All I can do now is pray and put him in God's capable hands.

This week I have been praying for a life changing experience and a revelation of who God is to my son. I am praying he walks away from the camp experience with a close friend in Jesus and a place he can see as a refuge for the tough days. I also pray healing over him from AS.

Monday, July 19, 2010

My day!

I have had a crazy summer and that ='s very little blogging time. I thought today would be a good day to post one. This is my day, or rather my birthday. My Mom was always good about making sure that my sister and I had "our day" and that it was special. I didn't have to do any chores. My favorite food was made for dinner and my favorite activity (that didn't cost money) was done. Dad would work really late, since it was summer, but that night we would all stay up until he got home and I would open up my presents. This was the best day for me next to Christmas. It wasn't often that all attention was on me. The coolest thing to me was that I thought I had caught up to my sister in age, even if it was just for one day.



Then the next day everything would reverse as it was my sister's day. My sister and I are 364 days apart in age. If we had a party it was a joint party, but on our individual days we were individual and it was "our day"!


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Found this on another blog

I decided to fill this out to let everyone know a little about me besides that I am married with two boys.


Since everyone else is...
What color are your socks right now?
When I wear socks they are white

What are you listening to right now?
the dishwasher

What was the last thing you ate?
toast

Can you drive a stick?
Yes, I learned how do drive by driving old farm trucks

Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My Mom, It was a very nice talk today.

How old are you today?
30

What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Ice Dancing

What is your favorite drink?
Squirt

Have you ever dyed your hair?
yes

Favorite food?
Watermelon

What is the last movie you watched?
I watched Denis the Menis strikes again with my boys

Favorite day of the year?
Christmas

How do you vent anger?
Crying

What was your favorite toy as a child?
My pig

Favorite Season?
Spring

Cherries or Blueberries?
Cherries

Living situation?
A house with my husband and 2 boys

When was the last time you cried?
Sunday

What is on the floor of your closet right now?
everything

What are you most afraid of?
being alone

Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Plain with pickles and ketchup.

Favorite dog breed?
My dog is pretty great she is a mutt

Favorite day of the week?
Saturday

How many states have you lived in?
Three: Oregon, Idaho, Washington

Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

What is your favorite flower?
White roses.

Did you get an H1N1 vaccine?
No and I didn't get sick!

Please post this with your answers on your blog and leave a comment on this post so I know to go check out your answers.

Monday, June 28, 2010

my mid morning devotion time

holy experience


I haven't posted a gratitude list in over a week maybe two. I have been going through some stuff that has exhausted me and pulling away from God and people, but that is something that can and will change. Healing only comes when we allow God in to work on our hearts. Instead of going into what the stuff is I have been dealing with I will share what God is doing now to help me through the "stuff".

I know that it isn't what we do, but how our heart is when we do things. For example I can read my Bible everyday and it could just be to check it off the list of expectations or I can read my Bible everyday to get out of the Word of God what God has for me. I choose the later. I believe that when God has me open my Bible that He has something important to say to me and that I better be listening.

I opened my Bible today and was in Isaiah 61. I started reading and found that God had filled this chapter and the next with his love and longing for us. Not just to love us but to also bless us. His desire to live within us and dwell in our homes and lives. We are to be preparing for our Bridegroom. All that is needed is our open door and acceptance of these things.

We never stop growing, changing or learning. The Lord will always have a next step in our destiny and purpose. This internship that we are on in our fleshly lives is a training ground for what is to come. The right now and the concerns of today are small compared to what God has in store for later. There will be hurts, failure and disappointments in our daily lives, but the most important is how we live for the Lord. God must be the center of our "universe" we cannot allow anything else to take that place. Not people, anger, hurts, bitterness.....-nothing!


Sometimes when you are hurting the best thing to do is make a gratitude list, so this is mine. After making it all the worries and problems seam so small and insignificant. God's love is so Great and mighty.

~148-165
I am thankful that the Lord loves me enough to seek me out
I am thankful that He knows my needs and can fulfill them
I am thankful for the rest I got this week
I am thankful for the amazing ladies who knew I needed an evening out with the girls and for my treat of a pedicure
I am thankful for my friends who love me and watch out for me
I am thankful that my husband likes to surprise me by cooking and cleaning
I am thankful I married such a hard working man
I am thankful that the Lord provides for us even if we think he has forgotten us
I am thankful that the light at the end of our financial tunnel is getting a bit closer and brighter
I am thankful that I have amazing, smart people to give me advice and who allow me to cry on their shoulders
I am thankful for my son who made lunch today for me and the daycare kids, with out being asked
I am thankful for my many best friends who I can call on and who know they can call on me
I am thankful that God sees the destiny he has for me and that it is perfect
I am thankful that if we mess up he is still the father who is waiting to pick us up, dust us off and say that He loves us-Try again my child
I am thankful for his unconditional Love
and that He never forgets us and our needs
I am thankful that I am never truely alone
I am thankful that He sent us the sunshine when we needed it the most

I am thankful that He speaks to us through worship, prayer time and scripture
Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair
.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.


8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."


10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.


11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Isaiah 62
Zion's New Name
1 For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
her salvation like a blazing torch.
2 The nations will see your righteousness,
and all kings your glory;
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

3 You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

4 No longer will they call you Deserted,
or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called Hephzibah, [b]
and your land Beulah [c] ;
for the LORD will take delight in you,
and your land will be married.

5 As a young man marries a maiden,
so will your sons [d] marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

6 I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem;
they will never be silent day or night.
You who call on the LORD,
give yourselves no rest,

7 and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem
and makes her the praise of the earth.

8 The LORD has sworn by his right hand
and by his mighty arm:
"Never again will I give your grain
as food for your enemies,
and never again will foreigners drink the new wine
for which you have toiled;

9 but those who harvest it will eat it
and praise the LORD,
and those who gather the grapes will drink it
in the courts of my sanctuary."

10 Pass through, pass through the gates!
Prepare the way for the people.
Build up, build up the highway!
Remove the stones.
Raise a banner for the nations.

11 The LORD has made proclamation
to the ends of the earth:
"Say to the Daughter of Zion,
'See, your Savior comes!
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.' "

12 They will be called the Holy People,
the Redeemed of the LORD;
and you will be called Sought After,
the City No Longer Deserted.