Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday’s gratitude list……..

holy experience

I am sitting here on this Monday morning in an empty house.  It is a strange feeling, but a very needed break.  I get a whole hour and a half to myself today.  My desk is situated in the nicest spot, in my opinion of the house.  I get a wonderful view out my front window.  There are trees, sunshine and a view at my fenced in yard.  I can hear the birds and watch the squirrels scampering about looking for their winter food,  My tomato plants are still looking great loving this warm end to September.  The smell of rain is still in the air, but it is drying up. 

my desk 006

I love nature and I worship the creator of it!  The Lord must love beautiful things.  Since we are made in His image it is no wonder that there is all of this beauty and that we love it.  Just putting two and two together. 

my desk 005 my desk 004

I am continuing my gratitude list today.  It has been a little while since I have added to it. 



~My children~

01-24-2010 09;01;06PM

~The beauty I see outside my window~

~eating a meal with my boys and best friend and then staying up until 1 am visiting with her and enjoying a Jane Austen movie~

pickle boy 002 enjoying the giant pickles

~that my children can be so silly that they make me laugh and light hearted~

~enjoying a morning visit with my mother-in-law Saturday~

~lunch out with my best friend and a sweet little girl I miss so much~

~A worship song sung over me by the Lord (through a lovely singer) about how much he loves me and wants to be with me~

~and that I have it in my iTunes library to play anytime I want to (My Beloved by Kari Jobe)~check it out if you want to know how the Lord feels about and sees you!

~watching my baby boy being touched by the Holy Spirit and responding to a tug at his heart to be closer to the Lord~

~seeing myself even more for who God sees and being able to look at my image in the mirror and seeing beauty.  He made me how I am and He sees beauty and perfection.  Healing of the mind is wonderful~

~teaching my children this~

~learning something knew about the Bible as I was teaching the Kid’s Church yesterday….guess the teacher was also the student and always will be~

~A quiet rainy Sunday afternoon spent with my boys playing a game~

~the sun shining through my window as I read the word of the Lord and listen to Worship music~

~that the Lord orchestrates time off for me that I so desperately need, even if it is only an hour or two~

~my friends thinking of me as my husband is away and checking in on me yesterday~

~the beauty of the word of the Lord~

~this flower made by my son for me~

pickle boy 008

~my boys and I are no longer sick~

~my husband will be home tomorrow evening~


Psalms 139 is my verse of choice today

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I wonder if that is how God sees me???

My favorite thing about my job as a daycare provider also about being a Mom, besides the hugs, is watching when a child learns a new thing.  I am watching a little boy that is about 21 months old and the last couple of weeks have been fun.  He is learning his words, instead of screaming to get what he wants.  He is learning his colors and about his world.  The best is watching him “read”.  His favorite activity is to sit with a book on his lap and chatter to me about what it might say.  I only understand a few of the words, but the stories are great!

He is learning that if he turns a basket upside down then the things inside will fall out.  If he gets hurt I will pick him up, say its ok and he will go about his day-usually doing the same thing that got him hurt in the first place.  Hmm that sounds familiar.  Right now his needs are basic.  He needs love, comfort, food, clean diapers and someone who is understanding. 

The next stage of kids are the Pre-school/Kindergarten.  They need me in their minds less, but they also need me more.  They have a definite view of life and that it revolves around them.  Man they are cute though!  This is when they are learning what words mean, how to play make believe with another child, and how to let go of needing Mom or their caregiver for everything.  They still run to you for comfort if they get hurt, but nothing solves hurts better than that invention called a band aide.  They question all that you do or say, but that is part of the learning process.

Both of these stages you can have great conversations with, but I am learning that the ages that come next especially since it is my kids is the school age.  The opinions have knowledge behind them, sometimes they only have enough knowledge to think they know better than Mom.  I love to visit with my kids and see what they are thinking.  I love to teach them the “deeper” part of things.  The light bulb still goes off with new discoveries just like the toddler.  The hugs are still there, but happen at sweet and unexpected times.

Children fascinate me.  My favorite thing to do is sit down, ask them a question and then just let them talk.  You can learn so much about how they think, if what you taught them they got or do you need to re-teach them.  I know that God has done this with me.  Lets me talk and think and then steps in and re-teaches me.  If I get hurt he patches me up and if I do the same thing again he re patches.  He delights when I run to him, just for a hug.  Just to know that he is still there.  Still in control, even though in my childish way I am trying to be in control.  I read his word and pray for understanding, so he calmly and gently puts me on the right path to understanding-sometimes a few time over again.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Psalms 139

Sometimes I look around and realize that life is not how I planned it.  People I was always close to are gone, or at least not a part of my daily life.  Friends come and go-friends that you always thought you would be close to.  You move from one house, school, Church to another.  Life changes just like the sand after the waves hit it.  It is something that you know will happen, but are you ready for it.  Have you ever stood on the sand as the wave is going back out to sea and felt it slowly coming out from under your feet.  You can try to dig your toes in deeper or let it go and see where it takes you.  There is only one constant in my life that has never changed and has been there since my conception and that is God. 

Psalm 139:1-18 (New Living Translation)

Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
      and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
      You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
      and when I rest at home.
      You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
      even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
      You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
      too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
      I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
      if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
      if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
      and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
      and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
   To you the night shines as bright as day.
      Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
   Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

I find comfort in this knowledge and am very thankful.  Life isn’t the way I thought it would be and that is ok because His ways are perfect.  I am who He made and I will do what He says I should do.

Friday, September 17, 2010

books :) Another funny blog about us

From the time I was a child until I was married for about 5 years I hated reading.  The schools would make me read to do book reports, so I would read the Ramona books or books about cats.  The good news is that there are about 8 Ramona books and numerous cat books in school libraries, plus we moved to a few different schools, so I was able to do the same reports for different schools.  Now I wouldn’t recommend this to children for many reasons, but that is what I did. I hated to read.  It didn’t catch up to me until about 7th-8th grade when they wanted me to read at my grade level.  Well I was stubborn and refused to read any more than they said I had to. 

I then expanded my reading list to Anne of Green Gables and all the following books written by Lucy Maud Montgomery as well as the Love comes Softly Books by Janette Oke.  Also the book An Old fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott. I would read the books that the school made me read plus these books over and over and over.  I read them all so often that I had to buy them a couple of times because they were falling apart.

Then I married into a family of literature lovers and readers!  Oh no, how was I going to fit into this family.  Every time we all got together, for a long weekend or a vacation, we would visit, eat and then a couple of people would find a corner and read.  My husband spends about 22 hours a day reading….not a joke.  He once ran his bicycle into a pick-up because he was reading and riding (don’t tell him I told you).  My son started reading fluently at 2 1/2 –3 years old.  I was lost and didn't know what to do.  I tried to pick up a liking for reading, but it wasn’t happening, so I would just reread the same books over and over.  I could tell you all of the stories, probably word for word. 

Then one day about 8 years ago I picked up a new book and I loved it.  It only took me a couple of days to read.  I then read another book, and another, and another.  I ran out of books.  Then the library became my friend and then I started buying books.  I have also joined book clubs.

This has carried on to the point, that now if I have extra money I am looking through and Christian  My favorite stories are Christian based 1800 love stories.  I will always have a special place for Ramona, Anne and Polly, but I am so glad that my interests have expanded.  There was a whole world out there to explore.

I never understood my husband and his need to have so many books.  Now I do.   I love the feel of holding a book, the smell of an old or new book and not knowing what you will find between the front and back covers.   Between my husband, myself and our boys, we could probably open a book store…..that is if any of us are willing to sell any.  You see that is the other thing.  We keep all of our books!  Jason especially.  My room could be a library.  We have several book cases and totes full.  I love to read books and give them away if I find the right person for the book (if it is a favorite, then I will buy it again). 

So if you want to know what we are doing at any given time, the answer is reading. 

The huge question now is what will a family of 4, that love to collect books do when faced with the question….to buy an e-reader or not?  It would of course mean more than just one or two…we all read at the same time.   :)  I am not sure how that will be answered.  I am scared to find out, since it is a spendy investment.  It would definitely save us luggage space when we travel  lol

Monday, September 13, 2010

missed opportunities

I was sitting at a school waiting to pick a child up after her day of classes.  While doing this I was watching people.  This is one of my hobbies.  There were kids and parents going here and there, most in too big of a hurry.  A woman and her child caught my eye.  She reached down in a motion that the child mistaken, as did I, for a hug, but that is not what she was doing.  The woman was only trying to take off the the little boys back pack so he could get into the car, but if she had been looking down at him and not been in such a big hurry she could have had a great hug. 

What a sad missed opportunity, but that isn’t what I was thinking.  What I was thinking was how many missed opportunities have I had with my kids, my daycare kids and the kids I minister to at Church.  Also missed opportunities with visiting with my husband, family and friends.  Most importantly with God.  I missed a huge opportunity of spending time with God this morning and almost forgot to wish my son a Happy Birthday.  I was too consumed with worry over our finances.  Last night we were hit with a surprise, but instead of hitting my knees and asking God to help us figure out what to do I got on my worrying hat and tried to bite my nails down to almost nothing.  What did that accomplish, just a sleepless night, lots of tears and almost missing the most important day of my 9 year olds life.  I am so grateful that I remembered and gave him is birthday hug before school.

We got the boys off to school, unfortunately due to my tears they were worried about me all day, so I had to explain to them that all was ok.  They should never have known that we had even the slightest worry today, since it turned out to be just fine.  I quickly fixed my priorities.  I went to God and to God’s word.  I asked a wonderful friend to pray for us today as we worked through our problems with God’s help.

During my break I balanced and checked and did all the bookwork to figure out what was needed to be done.  We were fine, tight but fine.  When we don’t let God handle the “stuff” in our lives we get overwhelmed and needlessly worry.  I had procrastinated on things I should have stayed on top of and so the problem was bigger in my mind then in reality.   God is in control and is taking care of us.  This is his promise to his people, made so long ago.

After getting my mind put back together I decided to ambush my son with love after school.  I heard him get home and got to where he couldn’t see me.  I bounded out of the house yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  Then I grabbed him and kissed him all over the face.  Then found out how his day was.  I then let him know that I was sorry that I got him worried this morning.  We had a great after school visit about all that he did.  I plan to never miss another hug or talking opportunity with either of my son’s.  I plan on never missing one with my husband or other people.  I especially plan on never missing one with God.

Now to ambush the other boy, since I can hear him opening the gate now lol

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Happy 12th Birthday Eric!!!!!

12 years 9months and 2 weeks ago an angel was sent into my life that would help the Lord to change me, my life and the life of many others.

 Eric baby


When I delivered my boy on September 9th, 1998 he was 9lbs 4oz and I had lost about 40 lbs in 7 minutes.  LOL  HE WAS BIG, but even bigger were the blue eyes at looked up at me.  I knew that this child needed me, but I didn’t realize until much later how much I needed him. 


Eric and Stephen (3 and 1 week)

When you see my son the first thing you see is that he looks like my father, but when you talk to him, he is just like his Dad. ericandfrog10-28-2009 10;17;12AM


Eric is a reader, a thinker and a dreamer.  He loves deeply and fights even harder for those he loves.  I know that God has set my son apart special.  I know that the struggles Eric faces now in life, God intends to use for HIS purpose.  My boy is unique, special and amazing. 


first day of school 2010 018

The meaning of the name Eric is Always Ruler

What Eric Means

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Being a new Mom this year!

I am a Mom.  That sentence all on its own sounds like nothing, until you get a look at the “job” description.  I am a professional dish washer, laundry washer, sweeper and at vacuuming.   I am an “expert” in math, reading, writing and anything else the teacher throw at me.  I am an expert in behavior issues, health issues and again anything else that can come at me in a day.

The most important part of my “job” is that my children learn about the Lord. I am to teach them how to serve Him and have a relationship with him.  Part of this is to lead by example and the other is to teach them.  My favorite time with my boys is when we are in the car driving somewhere.  I like to talk to them.  To make them think and to teach them.  We talk about everything from what the mountain ranges are called, what is to the east or west of us, what they want to be when they grow up, to how to talk to God.  The list goes on and on.  When we are not talking we are singing or just enjoying the view.

This year, as I keep stating, is the year of letting go.  I am letting go of the reigns a little and giving them more responsibility.  They are going to learn that with responsibility comes rewards and consequences.   I have posted in each of their rooms a responsibility chart that tells them what they need to do each day and what time they have to be where.  I have also bought them alarm clocks and watches.  They will be rewarded when I don’t have to remind them or give them warnings and of course the opposite when I have to.  My plan is to wait until they get home from school to talk about how they did in the morning and at school to decided weather or not they get their reward or punishment.  My goal there is to make sure that what happens in the morning doesn’t effect their school day.  Such as today, my youngest will not be happy with no computer after school today, but morning routine should go better tomorrow :)

So far it is going well and the learning has started.  We are taking it one step at a time.  I am going about this with a lot of prayer and patience.  I am armed with the Word of God, books by amazing people-Stormie Omartian, Dr. Dobson, Dr. Kevin Leman and others- and my experience of 12 years.  I know that they are going to grow a lot this year by my letting go and letting God be in control.  I also feel that I am going to grow a lot this.  I see changes in all of us this year!


Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Lord answers prayers in ways we don’t think of and at the RIGHT moment! His time is perfect!!

Today is the first day of school.  My boys are getting big so fast, I feel like the time is slipping through my fingers like sand.  Eric will be going to 6th grade at the Jr. High today.  This has been hard for Mom to face for the last several months, but he is ready.  So I let go and pray over him. 

 first day of school 2010 018

Stephen, my adventurer is going into the 3rd grade.  I have no worries with this one because he has the same teacher Eric has.  I know her and we have a good  Parent/teacher relationship.  This however is the fist year that big brother will not be keeping an eye on him for me, meaning more trust from me and more responsibility for him.  Both are good things

 his back pack was too heavy for him, so I ended up driving them to school :)  first day of school 2010 014

This is my year of letting go, so I am in se veral ways.  I am putting their morning routines and such more on them than me.  They both have alarm clocks and watches.  I put a list of what to do each morning, afternoon and at night before bed.  No surprises, just rewards if they accomplish it, are not late to school, get their chores done and get their school work done.

 first day of school 2010 020

I also have to let go because they have both, but mostly Eric reached the age of Mom can’t fix everything.  They have to handle at least some of it.  The good thing is that I can pray and God can be there with them and fighting on their behalf.


After writing this I got a phone call.  I have been praying for whoever was going to be Eric’s Speech Pathologist and I found out today who it is going to be.  His Speech path that he has had since 2nd called me this morning before school to tell me that she is sharing a position with another lady.  She will be at Whitman elementary and at Lane Middle School.  We are keeping our Speech Path at least through 8th grade now.  The Lord saw fit to answers this prayer in this special way.  I am so thankful and even more at ease now.


We we go school year 2010-11 The Lord goes before us and makes the way :)

Monday, September 6, 2010

a silly little post about something that means a lot to me……

I have had my lap top computer for a couple of years, but I have had to move myself, computer and work from place to place.  Weather it be the kitchen table, Jason’s desk, couch, oh everywhere.  This makes a mess out of what I am working on.  I use my computer for everything, from work, to Kid’s Church, to personal stuff like this blog.  About 6 months ago I started hinting that a desk would be nice, but we have a very small house.  Very small!  I didn’t know what to do or how to ask for one.  Then about 2 weeks ago I was driving down 72nd and almost at Woodstock I saw a very small desk.  It was small enough to go into my corner that I was eyeing for just that use and it had drawers.  I told Jason about it and asked him to look at it. 

My husband is a shopper, and I mean he can find anything you are wanting for a deal.  He saw that i was serious and started looking on Craigslist.  I thought for sure that we could be finding a desk on there.  We found one and put the Phone # in the phone on the way to get shoes for the boys we went and looked at the desk at the little shop.  Sadly it was perfect except they wanted $35 and I only had about $15 to spend.  So we called up the guy with the other desk that was only $10, but it was to short to fit the filing cabinet under it….this is a requirement or I won’t fit in the corner.  My husband is also a pretty handy guy and can built stuff.  So we decided that the next day we would go to Home Depot and price boards and stuff to make a desk.  Of course we each went into the store with differing ideas, once I figured that out I calmly and quietly listened to him….he was the one that would be making it.  So after an hour we found a shelf bracket and a beautiful too long for where he measured  white shelf board.  I had in my mind how to fix that, just turn it the other way and us the other wall.  We bought both, but I had an idea that we wouldn’t need the bracket. 

We got home and I as it was his day off I didn’t want him to work on it, no need to have a frustrating afternoon after such a great morning together.  I was sitting in the living room and looking at the corner where this was all to happen for me and a light bulb went off!!!    The filing cabinet was to be one let of the desk and the bracket was to hold up the other side.  I was a bit disappointed that I wouldn’t get drawers, but life would go on with out, right   lol    I went out into the garage and found my empty set of plastic drawers, it fit under the board and held up the other end perfectly.  This project only cost $9.95!  Now I have a desk, it isn’t the greatest to look at, but it is mine.  I now have a corner of the house that is mine to do with as I want to and to work from and all Jason had to do was take me to Home Depot :)

This is where I will read my Bible and journal or blog in the mornings, as I watch the sun come up. 

This is where I will read other blogs and get inspirations and words from God or even a bit of a laugh. 

This is where I will pray in the mornings for the day.

Jason gave me the lamp from his desk, since he doesn’t use it and I will be putting my beautiful picture of apples back up over my work area. 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Psalms 20

It is strange to write this post after what I wrote yesterday, but they both to together so well.  The peaks and valleys of worry have been happening a lot to me the last couple of months. 

I know His ways are perfect from what I posted yesterday, but you can still move through times of doubt and questions.   I had a moment like that today.  I had been cleaning to keep my mind busy.  I got done and flopped onto my bed in tears.  I am very scared looking at our financial situation, but I know God’s promises are always fulfilled.  We may not know how or when, but He does.  As I was laying there and I asked God again –why is this taking so long for the answers to come.  I asked Him again to please fulfill our needs and his promise that He will fulfill our wants and dreams as well-He answered me in his quiet way.  “Go pick up your Bible and read”.  So I did.  I looked down at my Bible and I read

Psalm 20
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.
      May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.
May he send you help from his sanctuary
      and strengthen you from Jerusalem.[a]
3 May he remember all your gifts
      and look favorably on your burnt offerings.

4 May he grant your heart’s desires
      and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
      and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
   May the Lord answer all your prayers.


He chose his own words to remind and comfort me for a second day in a row.

~About a month ago we had a guest speaker at our Church.  I had gone into Church that day determined that I would just sneak in, not be noticed and quietly leave.  God had been working on me in my quiet times as well as very publicly on some matters and I wasn’t ready for another public session.  -Again His ways are perfect!  He also knows what we need and when we need it.-  Unfortunately I also went into Church will a huge burden of worry about our finances on my shoulders and the Lord alerted the guest speaker (who didn’t know me) to this.  The words of the Lord that came to me that day from the mouth of this guest speaker were.  “God will fulfill your needs, which are great, as well as your desires very soon and you as well as everyone else will know that it the help came from Him.”

That night when I was still just laying there awake thinking on all that was said that morning in Church, I cried out to God just before falling asleep “we need help or a response from the city or TSA, something has to change” 

That same night our cat got sick and we were faced with a vet bill to put him to sleep, but we didn’t fear how we would take care of it because of God’s word the day before.  That afternoon we received the rest of our tax refund money, which covered the cat and a few other needs. 

Then in the next week things started happening.  We thought that our answer had finally come!  We got the call for Jason to come in for an interview with the city and testing started with TSA.  We were very excited and felt that God had done exactly what He had said he would do the day before.  Things moved quickly for about a week and a half and then all went quiet for a month and as of this morning still are…. discouragement has started to creep back into our hearts slowly over the month, but we have prayed many times together and each time we have felt the peace of God on our situation. 

My worry level goes up and down right now, but I keep my faith and trust in the Lord.  Ps 18:30  “As for God, His way is perfect!”  He knows our needs and wants.  It is also said over and over in the Bible that God keeps his promises.  When I get week God just keeps leading me to the verses that I need for that day and that moment.

I know that God is doing something amazing on our behalf and that there is a reason that we have to wait right now, but I can’t wait for the last part of the verse to happen

4 May he grant your heart’s desires
      and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
      and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.

   May the Lord answer all your prayers.

Any one who reads this please be praying along side us.  I have been pretty quiet about my worries, but I feel it is time to ask for some people to join us in prayer.