Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Today (8-31-11) I have a change in my life.  I am not good with change….,but this one I think is for the best.  I know that at first I dug my heals in, cried out to God asking why he was letting this happen again, but I have my clear answer now……because it is time.  We watch all of these “fairytale” or “feel good movies”  where the person comes into someone's life to help make a change in them, that kind of explains my job.  I knew when I got into childcare that I wouldn’t get to keep the kids for more than 2-4 years.  My promise to God was that I would do my best to speak his love and life into the children in my home.  The most important thing for me to do is to plant the seed of God’s love into each child that comes into my home. 

I just got done spending a couple of hours with the new children that I will be providing care for and now I am making lunch and waiting for the children who are here for the last time.  CHANGES!  I have provided care for this family for almost 4 years…they came to me with their 7 month old baby and he is about to have his 5th birthday.  They also brought in there 2nd child (we almost lost momma on this one) and with him I got to see a miracle of God healing his Mother. They then had a change in their hearts that they could help more children and started doing foster care.  I was so excited that I would be a part of it, but they (and God) decided it was time for her to be a stay at home Mom. 

Now today (9-6-11) I have started watching all of my new daycare kids.  It is so much fun and they are so good.  We are having fun and learning a lot.  One of the families is from France.  The children speak mainly French, but are learning English.  It is a new dynamic, but fun.  I have no idea what they are saying some of the time, so there is a lot of guessing going on.  The other family has a baby and a 4 year old.  They all played well together and I can’t wait to start going on field trips.  I have one more starting very soon that wasn’t here today.

There is a peace in my house and I feel that this is going to be a good year.  I have learned from the past 6 years and decided to cut out dinner.  I have been cooking dinner for 8-9 people every evening and most of the kids don’t like what I cook lol.  It was very stressful and wasteful.  Starting tonight I will only be cooking for my family.  I see many other changes coming for my business as well, but this is a good thing.

God is in control and he knew it was time for something to change.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I made yummy yummy chicken Monday night :)

Tonight's dinner

Chicken-boneless skinless breast tenders……seasonings:garlic powder, paprika, onion powder (need to buy some onions Smile), seasoning salt, Worcestershire sauce.  Cooking it at 415 degrees

Garlic mash potatoes….soymilk, ranch (after I take my portion out), garlic powder

toast, broiled garlic or cheese toast is best

Monday, August 29, 2011

Signs that you now have a teenager living in the house

This morning I found myself facing my son’s door that had a blanket tucked under it.  His answer was “to keep the light from the living room out”.  Memories came flooding back of my sister doing things like that  lol then I came up with this list of funny things my Eric is now doing.  He still has 11 days until he is officially a teenager, but these things have been happening for a while now.  ENJOY!!


Signs that you now have a teenager living in the house:

food is disappearing from the house faster than you can buy it or make it

your house seams empty and quiet-even though you know your son is home

strange smells are coming from that room (that you are sure someone lives in)

answers now come in the form of grunts instead of words

reminding them to do their chores is a daily chore for you

You find yourself repeating and repeating and …….well you get the point

They decide to (turn in) for the night with out you telling them to…not that you saw them that evening since they are now staying in their room as long as possible

Signs that this new teenager still needs his mommy Smile

You still get bedtime hugs

They seek you out for a visit

T.V. time can mean snuggle time (I like this one the best)

I love you is still ok, as long as said in the house

Your opinion is still somewhat important (they may not follow your suggestions, but they (at this stage) might listen a bit)



Friday, April 22, 2011

I love to bake!

I don’t know who reads this or if this will be a helpful post to anyone, but I write it anyway Smile.


I love to bake! 


I have my symphony music playing in the back ground, little guy playing in the living room and I am baking vegan banana bread.


I love to make things for my family to love and of course for me to eat too.  Now when you cut eggs and dairy out of your diet there are some issues….or are there??

A week ago I decided to try to make some cornbread.  It turned out well, should have cooked it in a pan that was a bit more on the shallow side, but the taste was amazing!  Just put applesauce in place of the eggs.Smile

This morning I found that I had some bananas that no one would eat because they started turning brown and I wanted to make banana bread.  I went in search for a vegan website.  I found http://www.chooseveg.com/ and boy did I hit the jackpot!!!  I found all the recipes I could ever want.  Caesar salad dressing, banana bread, banana muffins…..it keeps going from there.  I learned about a great egg substitute called ener-G.  The great thing was that I can use things I already have in my house. 

Several years ago I gave up the idea of ever having French toast again, but I found an egg free recipe that I plan on trying tomorrow. I hope my family enjoys it along with me.

Now to clean up the house and maybe do some gardening and my afternoon workout.  Have a great weekend.

Monday, April 18, 2011


The sun woke me up yesterday and today.

My moods seam to change with the seasons.  The dark rainy season went on a bit too long this year for me (spiritually and in nature)…..But in the darkness and the gloominess is when God decided to full fill his promises and answer the prayers of my heart.  Right about the time I had given up.  Human nature is to want it now, but God likes to get us ready.  We have to take baby steps.  He will never give us more than we can handle and I do believe that included blessings.  God wants so much to give us all of our needs and wants, but we must be ready for them.  He wants to bless us, but we have to know what to do with those blessings.

As I sit reflecting on what I have read in my quiet times/devotions I realize that even in the darkest times we are never alone.  God is always there he waits eagerly for us to ask him for his love and his help.

As I type this I am watching my beautiful blue sky getting covered up by a very grey cloud, but just on the other side of the cloud I can see more blue…..a promise that the gloom will go away.  Just like the flowers need the rain to grow so do I.  Spring = the promise of summer.

Everyone knows the famous poem “Footprints in the Sand” the line in it that sticks in my mind today is the last one.  “The Lord replied, ‘The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.’” He promises to carry us.  We may not see or feel him there, but he is with us all the time.

Thank you Lord for your love and your promises to always be with me.  For always hearing my prayers and for taking care of me.  Thank you for the lessons I learn in all the seasons in my life.  I pray you show me what I need to fix, change or do differently to follow your ways……..to be who you called me to be.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Report card time



My 6th grader got straight A’s this term Smile and my 3rd grader got the equivalent.  (They don’t do letter grades in grade school anymore.)  I am so happy and proud today.



Just had to brag a bit lol Smile

Thursday, March 31, 2011

following my dairy free life



I feel so much better! 


It is crazy to think that I was putting so many bad things into my body just because they tasted good.  I have had no dairy since my last post. 

 Sad things first……I learned that I can’t have chocolate, cookies-unless I make them, my non dairy creamer has a milk protein in it and is making me not feel so well-so good-bye to that too, No more cool ranch Dorito's Sad smile.   I must go and find some different bread.  I could go on but you get the idea.

 Happy things Smile  I have more energy.  My stomach isn’t upset and gurgling.  Cooking has been fun!  Goat cheese is wonderful ~never thought I would say that~.  My husband is being very supportive.  My Hypoglycemia ~if I ever truly had it~ is gone.  I am not as hungry now~I think my body was unable to digest so many of my foods that it never got nutrition=always hungry.

 The best thing I found out there to eat is called Tofutti cuties  they are a dairy free dessert , made from tofu, that resemble an ice cream sandwich.  YUM!!!!!!

 I made Chili over the weekend.  I followed a recipe that said to use 2-3 tsp. of chili powder.  Me not being a cook thought that chili powder is what makes the ingredients into Chili~found out it is what give it the heat.  Along with the peppers, chili powder and the sprinkle of red peppers I made some pretty hot chili.

 I am very ready to try making cookies and corn meal next.  My Sister-in-law told me how to substitute the eggs with applesauce.

 I went into and bought items for the first time at Trader Joes.  This Friday I will be trying New Seasons and Whole Foods.

This will be a trial and error process, but I am excited. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


Once a year I get to sit through an hour of torture for each of my children.  The IEP meeting.  Unless you have ever sat through one you can’t know what a mother is feeling at the time.  They lay out for you how your child is doing.  What their strengths are and then they hit you with what is wrong.  Then the solution.  Every fear that you had, and some that you hadn’t thought of, come crashing over you in a wave of despair.  Is my kid really going through this?

Stephen’s meeting this year was great!  We moved him from being in special ed to being on a 504 plan.  They told me this is unheard of for a 3rd grader with ADHD to move off of special Ed, usually it happens in 5th grade.    He has been less of a disturbance, loves school and has some new really good friends.  He is a social little guy and his grades are great.  My daily worries for him are different than for Eric.  

Asperger’s Syndrome is different.  There is a whole piece that includes social skills missing.  I can’t just put it into him.  He struggles with how to relate to people and that makes school difficult for him.  Yesterday was hard for me, it always is.  I got home, sat down and just cried.  My hands are basically tied, I can’t do anything, but coach him.  I can no longer protect him 24 hours a day.  He now has to figure some things out and get bumps.  His grades are amazing!  If we get some things in order he could be pulling straight A’s.  His teachers are wonderful and they, like all the others before them, just think Eric is the best. 

We are getting ready to send him to Outdoor school for a week.  Yikes!  I wasn’t ready for this, but he was.  His teacher had already arranged that there would be a one on one person with him.  This is wonderful for this mother who worries a lot.  My kid will be ok, just like he was at Church camp. 

We can’t keep our kids in a bubble….they just outgrow it.

After visiting with Eric and Jason I was better.  We also had a small group from our Church here last night and just the love and friendship from that filled my home and heart with peace.  I was able to go to bed feeling lighter and like I could take on the world…..woke up the same way.  God is in control and he is my son’s 24 hour protector, not me.  Who better to watch over my child than his heavenly father.

It will get better as Eric grows and learns.  I can see that now.

Sometimes as a Mom of a child with these unique difficulties I feel so alone.  I am going start taking Eric to a Game club.  It is for children with Asperger’s and the parents get to visit.  I am also going to check out their parent support group.  I will be nice to see if we can meet some other families and maybe Eric can find some wonderful friends who “get” him. 

Everyday is different and has it’s own set of issues and trials, but we will make it.  I see an amazing young man who will invent some amazing things when he is grown up.  We just have to get him through these rough teen years.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hello I am back :)

Oh my I don’t even know the last time I blogged.   Everything has been great! 

Today I blog on a “serious” note.  Not really, but it is to me.

When I was a little girl I ate eggs and milk everyday.  My mother had to get frequent deliveries from the Swan man for me   lol  this is the truth.  I loved to eat fried eggs, omelets. scrambled eggs.  I drank a lot of milk, ate cheese, ice-cream…..but I was always sick and it just got worse and worse.  The doctor told my Mom to cut out the dairy.   Sad smile  So sad for me.  I am not sure if they didn’t have soy milk or other alternatives, but what I mostly remember is being given water and juice instead.  We tried the little bead things that you put on ice cream (not sure what they were called, I was 10 years old) but they didn’t work-too bad too because it was fun getting ice cream in the mornings  lol .  Any way….at that time it was only the milk.  Then it became cheese-which I still ate.  The worst was when I was pregnant with Eric and realized eggs were doing the same thing, but worse!

So basically what I did to fix the problem was to mostly ignore it unless I was at someone else's house.  See the result from eating the dairy is embarrassing and I didn’t want to get sick at someone else's house or on a trip.  Still happened, but I was very careful.

The reason for this message is I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  It is getting worse and I can no longer ignore what dairy does to me.  I am now on day 2 of being dairy free-well I would be if I had read the dessert label last night ( I now know the difference between sherbet and sorbet).  My stomach is gurgling less and I actually have more energy.  Interesting!  I am going to go shopping tomorrow, by my self, to some new stores to buy some dairy free chesses and other yummy item.  I have two amazing friends and my sister who have given me brands that they use and names of stores that I can find them at.  The big thing to learn is what it is that upsets my stomach.

I was very discouraged but after visiting with them and realizing I live in Portland (we have so many stores within 5-10 miles with these item or more options) I know I can do this.  Now for some trial and error and eating Smile.

I am also looking at my recipes and seeing how I can rework them, so that I am not making 2 meals every time I cook.

This will be a step by step process and will have many errors and mistakes, but I am ready for a change.  Can’t wait to let you know how this all turns out.

Monday, January 24, 2011

My weekend with my guys

My house is quiet this morning and when that rare occurrence happens my mind starts flowing.  I decided last week that it was about time that I take each of my guys out.  I started Friday afternoon, while all the kids were in school.  Jason and I went out on a much needed date.  Claim Jumpers is an amazing restaurant and we found that going in the middle of the afternoon is a bit less hectic then in the evening.  We spent 3 hours just visiting, eating and shopping for needed items.  Sometimes you just need time together just to reconnect.  It was a wonderful day.

That evening Eric and I went in search of  the perfect book to buy with his Gift card he got for Christmas.  We went to the mall in search of Barnes and Noble.  I told him he could have all the time he needed to find a book of his choice and after looking at just about everything he found one.  We went up to the counter and I handed the cashier the gift card and she informed us it was a Borders gift card.  This was a please let the floor open up moment, but a memory made.  We left there in search of some dessert and ended up at a frozen yogurt place where we each enjoyed a bit.  Off to Borders where we got his book.  I had 3 hours of visiting with my son who usually is very quiet or reading.  It was great to learn a bit about my son.

Saturday morning I decided to throw in a Mom time date.  I have had the habit of biting my nail for as long as I can remember and the beginning of November I realized that I had stopped….not sure how but it happened.  I went to treat myself to a Pedicure and Manicure.  It was a great hour of pampering, no phone and no one needing me to do anything for them.

I took Stephen out after getting home.  We went to play miniature golf.  There is a golf course in Happy Valley (just above Clackamas) that has a small course up by their parking lot.  We were the only people there to play miniature golf that day.  It was the perfect day for it.  The sun was out but it wasn’t too warm.  Stephen was more into getting the ball into the water hazards because it meant getting to use the net to get the ball.  It was great!

I learn something new about each of my guys and myself every time it is just us.  Can’t wait for the next Mom/son outing.  More of them are in order as well as more dates with my husband.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

There are very few people who truly know the real Stephanie.  I burry my hurts, thoughts and feelings….then only tell bits and pieces to all different people.  Until recently no one person has really known all about me…but the comfort is that the one who created me knows me~even better than I know myself.  I was shown the beauty that He sees when He looks at me, the me that He sees.  I have grown since that day and slowly the outer shell is taken off and I reveal more.  I see beauty and confidence when I look in the mirror now.  The hurts all melt away when I sit in His glory. 

“Who am I that you are mindful of me
That you hear me, when I call
Is it true that you are thinking of me
How you love me, it's amazing
.”~I am a Friend of God

“Cause I'm your beloved,
Your creation,
And You love me as I am.
You've called me, chosen
For Your kingdom.
Unashamed to call me your own-
I'm your beloved.

~Your Beloved

The lord sees my hurts and he gathers my tears.  I can feel his arms wrapped around me saying daughter I am well please with what I created.  Then he sends a sweet message to me through a loved one.  He loves me and I am not alone