Wow, was the only thought I had as I watched the sun rise today. I woke up sad and frustrated. I don't know why with all the beauty I was seeing outside my window. This morning should have been an easy one to wake up and worship God feely and with out trouble, but here I was. I then went and read a couple of the blogs I follow, they were wonderful, but the feeling stayed with me. So I decided to change the background of my blog, this just frustrated me more, as I had problem after problem. I never once turned on the worship music or opened my Bible. I sit typing honestly to you, so you know where I am at. I am now going to stop typing, log off my computer and start my morning right. I don't know what God will speak to me, but it has to be better than these thoughts and feelings soaring through my mind and body. I will be back.....
I just got done listening to the first 4 chapters of Isaiah. I don't read very well. I never have and it made school and life a struggle. I love to read, but it takes me forever to get through anything. I get distracted or fall asleep and have to reread what I just read over and over.
I also love to read a few things at a time. For example I am reading for fun "Love Comes Softly" by Jannet Oake, For growth I am reading "Crazy Love; Overwhelmed by a Relentless God" by Francis Chan, and my Bible. For my Bible reading I like to read during my prayer time insperational things and prayerful things that God has shown me for my life, then I work on reading a book of the Bible each month. I have over and over tried to read Isaiah, but this is my stumbling block I have been able to make my way through all the others over my life including Numbers, Leviticus, Duteronomy and even Revelations. With Isaiah I struggle. I make it a few chapters in and I get stuck. I then get frustrated and I put it away and choose another book of the Bible to read. I know that God has incredible words for me in Isaiah so I try over and over. I just purchased "The Message Bible" on MP3 and have been listening to it and following along on Bible Gateway, so I can see the words too. I am finally reading this book and it is wonderful. God speaking like a father to his children. He is so sad and just wants them to love him. He wants them to pray and to worship him, but for real, not for show. I know this is what he wants from us as well. It shouldn't be a struggle or a fight to love this amazing God who made all things, including me.
I am going to be persistant and I am going to get through this book, but not just to get through it this time. I am going to get through it because of the promises it holds for me and my family. I pray for God to give me revelation as I read this book.