His ways are perfect

As I get the priorities in my life corrected and in order I have also been making some small private goals. I have been working on my health and making sure that I pick up healthy habits.  More water and less sugary drinks, more exercise and less sitting around, more reading and less tv

I have also been working on my spiritual life.  With out going into a lot of detail.  I am a huge worrier as I have said in many other posts and lately my trust level has been down.  I know that God is in control and that his ways are perfect, but sometimes at night in the dark, very quiet times my mind takes over and the worry enters in.   The worry over how are we going to take care of this or that, when will the phone calls or mail with the answers come…….. I have been doing better about praying through these and quoting the scriptures that I have been taught in my prayers.  Each day the worry gets less and less. 

I love to read in my leisure time and I have been asking God to lead me to books that can help me to grow spiritually.  This week I have been reading a book and the scripture the author keeps bringing up when the characters are in a similar place as I have described is

Psalm 18:30-32 (New International Version)

³⁰ As for God, his way is perfect;
       the word of the LORD is flawless.
       He is a shield
       for all who take refuge in him.

³¹ For who is God besides the LORD ?
       And who is the Rock except our God?

³² It is God who arms me with strength
       and makes my way perfect.

 

when the worry takes over the best thing to do is to pray the scriptures, to trust the Lord and to WAIT on him.  This is hard, but when you let go and let God do the work the answers that come are so correct and so right.  It is rewarding to see that God loves us and is the one that takes care of us.  HIS ways are PERFECT!

So right now I wait and pray.  I know the Lord is in control.  He sees our needs and wants before we do and He is working on it, even if we cannot see the answers or the work being done on our behalf.

My boys.

13 more days of summer.  I am sitting outside again today, taking care of the daycare, but also watching my boys play some game that they made up together.   They make me smile.

I have gotten a lot of time to be with my boys this summer.  The change in daycare kids that I had a year ago changed the dynamics of my daycare.  Kids moving on that I miss and babies getting older.  I still take care of many kids, but my attention has been focused more on my boys.  Also with the change in Jason’s job the three of us have a lot of time together on off hours.  I am learning, as they get older, the subtle and not so subtle differences in my two boys.  I know that some of the differences have to do with their ages, but personalities are truly surfacing now.

Eric, the almost 12 year old, is my quiet thinker.  You know that when he starts to talk that he has something very important to say.  He thinks about things for a long time before he actually says anything.  He gets hummer that others his age might miss.  My Eric is not aware of how other people are feeling, except for me.  He has always been a comforter of his Mother.  He can tell if I am sick, sad, angry or hurt without me saying anything and he can react accordingly.  If you are looking for Eric, just look for where the books and a nice comfy place to sit…you will find him there.

Stephen my almost 9 year old is my little fireball.  He is always moving, thinking and talking.  He is as smart as his brother in many ways, but the difference is he usually is thinking so fast and reacting even faster that he doesn’t think of the consequences until the action has already been done.  He is the  one that gets into the most trouble, but usually remembers not to do the wrong thing twice.  His memory is amazing.  He is also following in bother’s footsteps and you will find him most often when he is quiet reading in a corner as well.

For a long time these differences in personality made for many brotherly battles.  I have noticed that they are getting along better most of the time this summer.  They are either learning how to deal with each other or liking each other more, hopefully both.  This school year is the start to them going to different schools for several years.  The next time they are in school together Eric will be a senior and Stephen a Freshman in High School (that was hard to type lol).  I truly feel that they are going to get even closer over the next few years while going to separate schools.  As Stephen gets older and calms down some and Eric learns to more on how to “deal” with more people/personalities they will become friends more and more.  At least this is the prayer from this mother’s heart.

I love my boys and who they are becoming so much.  I am so thankful for them both and for their uniqueness .  God knew what he was doing when He gave them to me and I hope that I am making Him proud by how I am taking care of and raising these amazing gifts.

Power of prayer

I have been in an organizing mode this last week.  My Thursday, Friday and Saturday were filled with it.  It was almost like I felt if I didn’t get it done my world would end.  After having attacked most of my house I still had a feeling of “something is still out of order”.  So I went  after my priorities and  schedule.  Saturday my husband and I went to bed on time and I set my alarm for 2 hours before I had to leave my house. Then I crossed the biggest hurdle and got up when the alarm when off!  This gave me time to turn on the worship music, get dressed and ready, EAT (this is usually a missed event for me on Sunday) and then I had time to sit and relax.  For the first time in months I was able to get into the van on time (on a Sunday)with everything I needed.  It is amazing what a little extra time did for me yesterday.  My head was clear and I was able to focus. 

So in keeping with this change I decided last night to end my evening differently.  We went to bed on time again, then instead of watching tv to go to sleep I read a book.  I chose a book that would actually change my life instead of a fun book and read until I hit a point that I wanted to think over. 

I have been worrying and my anxiety level has been high lately.  I was reading “Praying through the Scriptures” by Judson Cornwall.  The part that stopped me was

“Anxiety is destructive. It saps energy, restricts our thinking, limits our joy and hinders our relationship with God.”  The Scripture reference he then put was 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting ALL your care upon Him, for he cares for you.”

I chose last night to stop shortly after reading that, turn out my light and pray that scripture out loud.  My prayers lately have been crying out to God and telling him what is needed to fix my problems and “demanding” that he solve it the way I see fit.  This is not God’s way.  We are to give up our problems and struggles to him and let him come back with the solution.  He is our Father and desires to be the one to take care of us.  I went to sleep with this scripture still going through my mind and it actually was through out my dreams and I woke up with the words still coming out of my mouth in a prayer.  My worries and problems seam so small today.  They are still there, but I know that my Father God is already taking care of things.  I His time the answers will come and the promises He made fulfilled.

 

<center><a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/"><img alt="holy experience"  src="http://i534.photobucket.com/albums/ee349/GDest07/ann%20voskamp/mondaybutton2.png" title="holy experience"/></a></center>

 

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• watching the vegetable plants that were planted months ago produce food
• visiting with my husband as we took a walk
• My job and his that provide for our basic needs
• My son wanting to cuddle with me as I was working on a blanket
• us laughing as we were trying to figure out how to keep said blanket covering us as I worked on the rows
• That God heard my lonely cry and 2 years ago sent me the perfect friend who now calls me her best friend and I call her mine
• Her spending the afternoon with me on my loneliest day of the week(Jason works Sundays right now and they are very lonely for me) then making pizza with best friend and laughing over silly things
• finding a treasure of a book I didn’t know I owned and God speaking life changing lessons to me through the words
• my husbands amazing family who love me as if I have always belonged
• my Church family that missed me after a 2 week absence
• The gate in my front yard, paint in the playroom, a solution to the shower door issue and the finishing touches that my husband decided to surprise me with
• my neighbor who calls my kids her grandkids and includes them in her school clothes shopping list and Christmas list
• Tea dates with this neighbor
• Books
• The beautiful bright moon that we have been blessed with this last week.  It is so beautiful !
• Hugs
• Friends
• love
•  

I'm back!!!

I just got back from vacation and I am still in "vacation mode", but I have managed to get back into the swing of things, sort of. Many surprises were waiting for me. My husband worked on his "Honey do list". A year ago he built me a fence so that the daycare kids and myself could be safe in the front yard. I got home to find a gate. Now we are even safer and my small baby gate can be used in the house again. He also painted my Playroom/Stephen's bedroom. This really needed to happen as the paint job we did 4 years ago has been scratched off over the years by the kids and toys. The living room was touched up and finished. The greatest gift he gave me was taking down the deadly shower doors. For the last 2 years I have gotten many bruises on my feet from the doors coming out of their tracks and finding my feet! Now we have a curtain rod and a lovely cream colored curtain (that he picked out). The list is still pretty long, but these were on the top of the list.

I am so blessed! God gave me an amazing man to walk through life with and to take care of me and our children.

I woke up early this morning, no alarm, I just woke up. It felt good to get a morning shower, in my "new" shower. Usually I wake up later than my alarm so my showers are usually taken at night and then I end up with a hair mess in the morning. lol Anyway I got my shower, took care of some things and got some Bible reading time in before work and before my kids woke up. I have had such a relaxed morning that I am not motivated to get going....so I will go get a cup of coffee that was made by my loving husband. lol Then outside time for the kids and I! I might get to the laundry or maybe that can wait until tomorrow.

I just got back from vacation and I am still in "vacation mode", but I have managed to get back into the swing of things. My vacation gave me time to learn a lot about myself and my family. I haven't taken a whole week off from my daycare in a long time, but it is needed every once in a while. God knows what we need and sends it at the right time, even if we thought something else would have been better.

______________
Today's morning devotion time.
Ephesians 2:3-5

letting go

I am learning more about myself as a mother and about my oldest son this week while he is away. I have a unique situation as a mother. Since he was in 2nd grade we have been advocating for him and his school situation. He has had struggles, but we have had to have a balance between this is the Aspergers and this is just behavior issues. I have had to be a parent who looks at each situation we are going into and prepare myself for what could go wrong and make the right adjustments or inform Eric of what is going to be happening. People with AS don't like surprises. The problem is that while Eric has been growing, maturing and learning how to handle situations, I have been stuck back at the beginning.

I made a huge step and allowed Eric to go to Youth camp this year. This involved a bus ride, eating with others, playing games, sleeping somewhere else for 3 nights, worship and preaching services. All with out me. I do have a person there with him who is aware of AS and how to help in situations, but I am not there. Since I have never been to the camp I wasn't able to "warn" Eric about this or that. I had to let go! I had to once again say "OK God he is yours". I took Eric to the Church the kids were all meeting at. He was so excited and had no reservations about going. I looked at him and said ~"it's time for me to let you go a bit more isn't" and he, with a big smile on is face and a squeeze of my hand, nodded his head.

I dropped him off, got in the van, cried and prayed. My son is growing up this week and so am I.

We have been getting small videos each day and what I see in them makes me proud. He is participating, worshiping, praying and I guess eating a lot. My worries about him and how he will be in life are getting less and less. He has had the training and knowledge necessary to make it in Jr. High and in life. All I can do now is pray and put him in God's capable hands.

This week I have been praying for a life changing experience and a revelation of who God is to my son. I am praying he walks away from the camp experience with a close friend in Jesus and a place he can see as a refuge for the tough days. I also pray healing over him from AS.

My day!

I have had a crazy summer and that ='s very little blogging time. I thought today would be a good day to post one. This is my day, or rather my birthday. My Mom was always good about making sure that my sister and I had "our day" and that it was special. I didn't have to do any chores. My favorite food was made for dinner and my favorite activity (that didn't cost money) was done. Dad would work really late, since it was summer, but that night we would all stay up until he got home and I would open up my presents. This was the best day for me next to Christmas. It wasn't often that all attention was on me. The coolest thing to me was that I thought I had caught up to my sister in age, even if it was just for one day.



Then the next day everything would reverse as it was my sister's day. My sister and I are 364 days apart in age. If we had a party it was a joint party, but on our individual days we were individual and it was "our day"!

Found this on another blog

I decided to fill this out to let everyone know a little about me besides that I am married with two boys.


Since everyone else is...
What color are your socks right now?
When I wear socks they are white

What are you listening to right now?
the dishwasher

What was the last thing you ate?
toast

Can you drive a stick?
Yes, I learned how do drive by driving old farm trucks

Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My Mom, It was a very nice talk today.

How old are you today?
30

What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Ice Dancing

What is your favorite drink?
Squirt

Have you ever dyed your hair?
yes

Favorite food?
Watermelon

What is the last movie you watched?
I watched Denis the Menis strikes again with my boys

Favorite day of the year?
Christmas

How do you vent anger?
Crying

What was your favorite toy as a child?
My pig

Favorite Season?
Spring

Cherries or Blueberries?
Cherries

Living situation?
A house with my husband and 2 boys

When was the last time you cried?
Sunday

What is on the floor of your closet right now?
everything

What are you most afraid of?
being alone

Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Plain with pickles and ketchup.

Favorite dog breed?
My dog is pretty great she is a mutt

Favorite day of the week?
Saturday

How many states have you lived in?
Three: Oregon, Idaho, Washington

Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

What is your favorite flower?
White roses.

Did you get an H1N1 vaccine?
No and I didn't get sick!

Please post this with your answers on your blog and leave a comment on this post so I know to go check out your answers.

♥