new

Sometimes it is hard to put into words what God does in your spirit. I have been trying to write this blog post all day, but I can't put it into words. The best I can do is say I had a visit with my Father God yesterday and he said I was enough. I am worthy of his love and he desires me. He made me perfect and on purpose. All that is asked of me is to love and worship him. The pain in my heart was washed away with the tears that fell yesterday. I am now in the process of being reprogrammed and put back together. I must stop trying to hide from him when I feel inadequate or unnecessary.

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Summer day 1

This is our first day of summer vacation at my house/daycare. The little ones were very excited that the boys were here to play with them today. Luckily that overshadowed the disappointment of not being able to play outside due to the rain.

They played games together and are now playing with play dough. This is the best inside activity for all of the age groups. The chores have been divided up and mine completed. Next is lunch and then NAP TIME!





Their nap time is my break time. I allow my boys, since they are past napping age, to play on the computer, draw pictures or read during this time. I do my work out and read. A few days ago I ordered 19 books each one under $2 from a Christian book supplier. I am so excited and ready to dive in, but first I have to make lunch for the kids.

I had set a goal in January to read 12 new books and I have exceeded that, so now my goal is to read these new books that I bought by the end of the summer.




~
A workout/diet update. I am loosing lbs and inches. Clothes that fit a month ago are hanging on by body, especially the pants. The good thing is that I kept the clothes that I felt had "shrunk in the dryer". This means I can wear those, but even they are a bit loose. Also clothing that didn't look right on my is looking really good now.

I had to slow down on my working out this week because on Monday I injured my ankle. I hope that it will be a lot better by tomorrow and I can start my daily walking again. I will have to take it easy on the aerobics workouts so I don't re injure myself. I am so happy and my health has improved a lot. I can't wait to get back at it! I feel very good about myself and that is the best thing that has come from all of this.

Eric

I got the biggest shock of my life when I was 18. I had been irresponsible and made choices that were against my Christian morals and values. The morning sickness started before I bought the test.

I took the test that came up positive on Dec 31st of 1997. I was pregnant. The first person to know was Jason and then my friends who were with me. We decided to tell our parents together. That was not a fun night. We were uncertain of what the future would hold for us. We were just starting out in college and had several years to go. I dropped out and got a full time job.

I wanted to get married, but was unsure if we were ready. Babies need both parents. We had very good council from our Pastor. He basically said we either get married or don't date at all. Jason asked me to marry him right there in the office. We went and got the ring so that we would have that to show my parents. Then came a lot of crying and figuring out what to do. We both had jobs, but they weren't very good pay and neither had insurance. We weren't ready for all of this, but we were the ones who got ourselves into this. Our wedding and honeymoon were beautiful.

The best day after all of the roller coaster rides was the day I heard my babies heartbeat. I needed that proof that he was there and healthy. Then we got to see him in the ultrasound. I fell in love with my Eric that day.

My delivery on 9-9-98 was two weeks after his due date. Eric was a very big baby 9lbs 4oz. He was a happy and healthy baby until a couple weeks later. I knew that babies spit up, but this was throwing up. I would feed him and he would promptly throw up every last ounce. As I sat watching this little man loosing wt and getting paler I did the only thing I could do, PRAY. We ended up admitting him to the hospital three weeks after he was born and scheduling him for an operation. After we got back home, he gained back all that was lost plus some. After this he was at 100% for wt and height.

He started speaking, crawling, walking all very early. Eric was reading fluently by age 3 and has a very high IQ. Socially he has always been behind. We started noticing that he was having difficulties, but didn't know what to do. His 2nd grade teacher call our first ever Care Team meeting and we were hit with the word Autism. Eric was tested and put on services with the school for Autism. We got his first IEP set up and started on our journey.





This year he was officially diagnosed with having Aspergers Syndrome, or high functioning Autism. With the help of our families, Pastors and school specialist our son has just finished 5th grade, with high grades and will be going into Middle School. I know he has a long road ahead of him, but I know that he has been given the needed tools to make it through this step in his life.



Today I sat proudly as my son walked across the stage, shook the teachers hand and was given a certificate. I am sure that the next three years will be full of challenges, some unique to our son's situation, but it will end with another graduation and another new journey.

I love my son more than he will ever know. I am so proud of him and all that he does. I pray for the Lord's guidance as we raise our surprise baby. There have been many bumps and struggles, but we are a strong family. What a wonderful surprise and gift from the Lord.

the garden

Our garden is growing. The plants that I decided to go with this year are loving all of the rain. We will have raspberries, tomatoes, cucumber, potatoes, peas, beans and onions. The plus side to my house is that they have been protected from the wind and down pours we have been having by the house.

It is really fun to watch the flowers starting to pop out and showing that there will be fruit. The kids are very excited. I wish I could post pictures, but I can't get the camera on my phone to work and I lost the cord to my camera. We are very anxious to pick the fruit and start canning and freezing.

Today

Today it is raining outside. Not just a little bit but a lot. It is also so cloudy that it is dark and we have to have some of the lights on. My friend joked that it is a perfect November day. lol She is right except it is June. My kids only have 9days of school left and then it is supposed to be SUMMER! I know that I live in the NW, but this isn't the right kind of weather for June. We are all feeling it.

I keep trying to think of something to say, but it all sounds crabby and not interesting. Instead I will post some scriptures that have been speaking to me.

Ephesians 2:10 (New International Version)
10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

chili part 2

Success!!!

I got the recipe from The Early Show on CBS.

Any kind of hot dogs and buns that you like.
2 pounds lean ground beef (I used turkey burger and hamburger)
1 onion, pealed and grated
1 12-oz can tomato paste
1 16-oz can tomato sauce
2 cups water
2 TBSP sugar
2 TBSP Chili Powder
1 tsp garlic salt
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
2 bay leaves
1 TBSP white wine vinegar

In a large stock pot or dutch oven, combine the beef (do not brown first), grated onion, tomato paste, tomato sauce, water, sugar, garlic salt, salt, and pepper. Mix until combined. Add bay leaves. Cover and simmer over medium-low heat for approximately 2 hours. Stir in white vinegar and simmer another 30 minutes.


Jason then added to his a sausage dog, bun, sour cream, cheese, onions, green peppers


Freeze any leftovers for later. My boys loved it! Jason ate some the next day and said it was just as good reheated as it was the first night.

Enjoy!


~Steph

Chili

I am trying to make homemade chili for my husband tonight. With this recipe you mix all the ingredients and let it simmer for 2 hours. We are going to use sausage dogs which are Jason's favorite for making chili dogs. I also got corn on the cob and strawberries. I really hope this works out! Update to come.....