I found myself discouraged today until I just let God have my burdens again. My boys go through things that I don’t know they are going through. I am finding that the older they get the less they come to Mom and tell all their hurts and struggles. They worry about burdening me. My sweet boys.
I remember going through this as a child. I was worried about over burdening my Mother about silly little issues, but to me they were so big I couldn’t sleep at night. I remember that around 7 years old my closest friend was Jesus, he was who I could turn to. The most amazing gift my Mother gave me was teaching me how to talk to Jesus. I was plagued with nightmares and insomnia as a young child. I would go into my Mom in my fear or sleeplessness and wake her up to get her to help me to not be scared and to get back to sleep again. She would hold me for a minute, but just before I would fall asleep in the safety of her arms she would walk me back to my room. Then she would pray with me and tell me if I wake up again to ask Jesus to be with me and to help me to get back to sleep. This was a lesson I learned very young.
I also remember sitting outside the bathroom door when Mom would take her evening bath and just listen to her as she talked to Jesus. I couldn’t hear the words that she spoke, but I knew that that is what she was doing. She also did this as she was cooking. I would sit as close as I could to hear the soft murmuring of her voice, but not the words. Something told me it was a personal conversation. It was a comforting sound and set my spirit at ease.
I learned from her how to pray as I went through my school day, but with out actually speaking out loud.
My oldest son never had nightmares and I don’t believe that he dreams very often, but my youngest has always had nightmares. I did with him as my Mother did with me and when he was old enough to pray through them on his own and without Mommy helping him he started to have less nightmares and to take care of the ones he did have.
I openly sing and pray to God while I clean, do dishes and yes even in the shower. I pray all day long from the second my boys leave the house to go to school until they are safely back in my care. I pray that angels are around them protecting them. My favorite part of the day is when I get to talk with them about their day. I thrill at each report and the small amount that they do let me in. I imagine that the Lord feels that way when we talk to him too. I can imagine him sitting with each of us on his lap and smiling as we tell him of our day. Of the good and the bad that happened to us. What we learned and what we taught. I know that just as I laugh, cry or get angry along with my children as they tell of what happened to them that day ~ this is how our Father God reacts too.
My hope is that I can teach my boys that I am here for them and that I want to help them. I also hope that they know that we have an amazing Lord who is there when I can not be.
