On this walk with him Wednesday I sit remembering back to the scariest moment of my life as a mother. I also remember that each step of the way God was there to comfort me and guide the doctors.

The hardest thing to hear from a doctor is that your baby need surgery. I had a very big baby, at birth he was 9 lbs 4 oz. He was a beautiful big baby. He loved to eat and I had a hard time keeping up with him, but managed somehow. At 2 weeks of age he started throwing up all the milk I gave him. He and I spent that week in our robes because every time I would feed him it would immediately come right back out. He was so little that he was eating every 2 hours, but because he was throwing it all back up he would cry the rest of the time. He was hungry.

I also spent the week calling the doctors office, who blew me off. I was a young Mom, I had just turned 19. I was watching my baby loose weight and he looked bad. His urine in the diaper one day was orange and I called the doctor again. The answer was "call again when he goes 24 hours without urinating". I prayed a new prayer at that point. Instead of asking God to heal my son I said, "God please don't let this baby urinate", God answered. I called the doctors office exactly 24 hours later. They made an appointment. The doctor's answer was that Eric needed to go to the hospital immediately and be admitted. I was alone and had to drive to the hospital my self, but somehow God got me to the hospital and through the paperwork.




Eric was so small to the pediatric nursed that they couldn't get the IV in. The neo- natal nurses were called, but he was so big to them. I was a wreck, it took 30 min to get an IV into my baby because of how dehydrated he was. It turned out to be something called Hypertrophic Pyloric Stonosis-or in simpler terms the opening between his stomach and intestines was closed off and needed to be opened.




The doctor operated and immediately Eric improved. He gained back all of his weight and then some, he was thriving.







I was terrified during this experience, but I know God was walking with me and taking care of my baby. Eric is now 11 years old and a very healthy, very tall child.




I was taught at a young age to lean on God and not on your own understanding through trials in life. I of course was upset and scared, but all I could do was pray. We felt God in the hospital room that week.

Matthew 6:6 go into your secret place and pray

I wake up now an hour and 45 min before I need to work. I used to just roll out of bed get my shower done, clothes on and hope my hair looked decent for the parents who were dropping off their kids. I have a daycare and my commute is only 5 seconds, but I was never mentally ready when the kids got here. I also wasn't taking time for the Lord. I always said "later". Later wasn't coming.

Now today, I sit in a clean house. The dishes are done. I have been up and ready since since 6 and I have been able to meet with God. My days have gotten better. I am not as short with the kids or my husband. My ideas for what to do today are flowing. I do however wish I had gotten up at 5:30 so that I could have more time with God. This is a good feeling, because it means I am wanting more and more of him each day. My desperation for his is increasing.




My devotion times have changed. I now gather my books and bibles around me. I grab my computer and I wait. I read my devotions, pray and ask God what he has for me today-He sometimes answers right away, sometimes not. Then I look through my dashboard and see what God is saying to my fellow sister bloggers. He as spoken to me or confirmed things to me through some of you. I then journal on my blog. Sometimes you get to see what God has said to me through my blogs, other times I just save them for me or for later.

I have been reading an amazing book called Crazy Love. The author is incredible and he walks you through God's love and how God is wanting more love from us. I got to the middle of a chapter and he told us to stop reading and to pick up the gospels. He said that that is where he went when he was studying about God's love. I got to Matthew 6:6 Jesus is telling us how to pray. "But when you pray, go into your {most} private room, and, closing the door, pray to your Father, who is in secret; and your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you in the open." God loves us enough that he wants to minister to each of us personally. He has something, a gift for each one of his children. He gives his love to us for nothing. He desperately want each of us to love him. Just as a Mother, who's baby isn't talking yet longs to hear the words from her babes mouth "I love you", God wants nothing more than to hear the words from his children "Father, I Love You!" We do this through prayer in our secret room. He shows us love in that secret room and changes us. He changes us on the inside, but what comes out of us for the World to see is his amazing love and light.

There is beauty in a bride as she awaits her groom, just as there is in us when we start showing God our love and antisipating his arrival.

Don't forget to go into your secret room today and to love on your Father God.

Getting back to it

I have been praying daily for my boys, but I had lost my calendar that I was getting the daily prayer targets from. It is fun when you loose stuff. Well, I am back to posting these daily as I found one I could load onto my computer :).

Today is the 27th
Passion for the Lord
Psalm 42:1
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

I can only pray for this for my children and be an example. There are things that you can not make people do and this is one of them. Lord God I pray a passion into my children to seek after you. Lord just as the deer needs water to live, I pray that my boys will see that they need you to live. Lord help my husband and I to be living examples to you r Word. Let us show our children what it means to LOVE passionately or Lord and maker. I praise you and thank you for creating us.

Multitude Monday..........my start to my 1000 things I am thankful for

I am starting Multitude Monday on my page. A dear friend of mine has gotten into this and I felt it would be a great thing for me to start seeing what there is around me and all the little blessings God has given to me. So here is my start of 1000 things I am thankful for.......

1. my God

2. his word

3. my husband

4. my son Eric

5. my son Stephen

6. my parents

7. my husbands parents

8. my sisters and brother

9. music

10.friends

11. being alive

12. my puppy

13. my cats

14. my home

15. my church family 16. music 17. books 18. the rain 19. the sunshine 20. oceans 21. summer 22. fall 23. winter 24. spring 25. the ocean 26. love 27. trees 28. my quiet corner for meeting with God 29. my journal where my thought about God and my letters to God 30. His healing power...................................................................................... Our God is so great and powerful. He love us so much. I sat down and thought that finding 10 things to be thankful for would be hard and I made myself stop at 30. I am so thankful and can't wait until next Monday to continue my list. Praise the Lord!

my boys

I love my kids they are one of the best gifts God decided to give to me. They love to be silly. They love to fight. They love to hug and joke and just be kids. I wasn't sure how I would do raising 2 boys, but so far God has been my biggest help. We have had many ups and downs, but they are healthy and have so much love for me.

They are full of energy. They love to go everywhere and do everything. Our favorite places to go are the zoo, OMSI, the park, but our favorite thing to do is make stuff. They love to bake, do crafts, anything that uses their minds. My kiddos are super smart and very fun to be with. I would never trade them for any others.

We talk constantly, especially in the car. Our best game is which way. I will ask one boy turn or go straight as I am driving towards a destination. Now we live in Portland and there are so many different ways you can go and still get places. So the first boy will choose the direction and then the second boy. This goes on until we get to where there are no more choices. They love this simple silly thing we came up with one day while they were having an argument. They forgot about what they were upset about. We also play the alphabet game and # game. The game that can go on forever is "would you rather?" (thanks Jenn:))

They also have normal boy interest that I can't really relate to, but enjoy watching. Like being a "Star Wars character" or making everything into a weapon. I guess this is what makes boys so special. They can entertain themselves with rocks and mud. lol

I am loving moving into the new stages of their lives and I am excited to find out what tomorrow will bring. It takes a lot of prayer, constant prayer. It also take my husband, our entire family and our Church to help form these special gifts, but I know we are all up to the task.

I love you boys!!!

God's love is like an Ocean

God's love is like the ocean,
it is calm and inviting.

Stormy and strong.

It changes yet is constant.
It gives life.

There is comfort in the crash of a wave or a storm on the beach.

There is stability.
Just open up your heart and let it in.

You will find peace.