Thoughts on Christmas coming and the busyness

Memories, holidays, traditions, family…..these are the things on my mind.  So many things bring back the childhood memories that to me are so wonderful.  A child’s memory is an amazing thing.  When I walk into a place and smell Apples and Oranges I am reminded of going to my Grandparent’s house in Idaho during the holidays~I can still sometimes go back there in my mind.  We pull up in the car and the shouts start “Uncle Jim is here, they are here”  We walk through the entry room and I smell/see the boxes of Apples and Oranges, then we are surrounded by family.  My Grandma hugging me.  Someone on the the phone calling the rest of the family who still lives in Emmett, telling them we have arrived and to come over.  I walk through the kitchen and dining room into the next room and get a hug from my Grandfather.  After a 10 hour drive we are ready to celebrate Christmas with family.  There is a big tree in the corner with so many lights and decorations on it, you just want to stare at it for ever.  All the family pictures on the walls and shelves surrounded by dolls and other knickknacks.  A shelve that contains the favorite Christmas movies that I still watch to this day.  Oh and of course the woodstove in the corner that we put our mittens on to dry (sometimes getting them back with burned marks oops). I will never get to be in this home again, it burned down two days before last Christmas.  My Grandfather has passed away.  All the cousins are grown and have families of their own~including me.  My Grandmother now lives in a new home that they finished building it just before Thanksgiving this year. 

Now I have children and the goal is to take some of my family traditions and some of my husbands and mesh them with new ones we create to help my boys have amazing childhood memories to take into adulthood.  I love the look in my boys eyes (even as a teen/pre-teen) when they know we are going to Grandma’s.

As we are preparing for Christmas this year I am being vary careful to listen to them and hear what things are important and have stuck out from the years of celebrating.  From the tree decorating, to the snacks, to the Christmas music, candle light services, the reading of the Bible Christmas story and the night before Christmas, watching Polar Express and Charlie Brown, to getting PJ’s on Christmas Eve, the sausages and waffles for breakfast~  All of this is great as long as the most important thing is remembered and passed down to my boys…..That Christ was born and we are celebrating God’s love for us.  All of the rest brings families together and shows love between us, but we need to make sure that our boys grow up knowing and to one day (possibly) teach their children about Jesus and the reason we have Christmas. 

A new start

After a childhood of people (inside and outside of my family) telling me I couldn’t do things, calling me names, ignoring me…….I started believing the lies.   In my childhood I had one true best friend and I didn’t find her until I was in 7th grade-she didn’t try to change me, except to try to help me out of the pain. I found her in 7th grade but it took me until 11th grade to truly let her in (she is my friend to this day). 

I fell in love at 17 and not know what to do with this new feeling and this guy that loved me in return (never thought that would happen) I ended up having sex just after my 18th birthday and I was pregnant 4 1/5 months later~then married that March. 

How was a broken, self hating, no friends (because she pushed them away or chose all to not see the friends that were there) girl supposed to have a marriage and raise a baby as a teenager?

I continued to push people away and swear that I wouldn’t get hurt again-most of my childhood “friends” only were my friends when they needed something, so I assumed that the people I ran into as an adult would be the same or just wouldn’t like me because of who I was and what I had done. I started to become invisible-because in my head invisible people don’t get hurt.

I also pushed God away.  He had been my closest friend from age 8, he was there when no one else was, but I (in my broken state) figured if people didn’t want me why would he.

My pastors and mentors helped me to find healing.  I thought that we had gotten there because when I was 28 I finally started to let people close to me and found another best friend.  I was walking with my head up and had accepted ministry responsibilities.  I figured I was finally whole and didn’t need any more fixing.

We joined a Church plant and I was then thrown into a new situation and the old Stephanie (the completely broken one) started to show back up.  The lies started coming back…. these new people will never like you, your Pastors don’t need you, just stay quiet and you will be invisible ~ the sad thing is I listened to these lies.  I sat as quiet as I could and became invisible and was unable to be used in the manner that God wanted to use me because I had put the walls (stronger this time) back up.

A year ago I decided I had had enough of being lonely and I started to do something about it.  I got myself back into the Word, the way I should have been and in my prayer times the Lord started directing me to share my story. This was a scary thing to me.  I didn’t understand why He wanted to put me (a nobody) into a situation where no one would care what happened to this girl in her past.  Even with this I was obedient  I went to a connect group at our Church and I met new people and we had to share our stories.  I could have taken the easy way out, but I decided I had done enough hiding and it was time to share ALL of my past.  There was freedom in this and the amazing thing to me is that I didn’t loose any body. I actually gained friends and gave God the freedom to continue working in me. 

After this I was obedient and I got my self going in the direction God was telling me to go by approaching a leader about the possibility of joining her ministry and I wasn’t rejected.  My voice came back and I was able to speak and pray for people like I was supposed to be doing. 

I also started setting up times to get together with people I knew and didn’t know…making friends and finding that I wasn’t being rejected.

A few months ago I was given an opportunity go to to a conference and I used my voice again….people didn’t run the other way, they embraced me and wanted to hear what I had to say.  Then I joined a few ladies at a women’s night out.  The speaker was talking about finding and using your voice and being in the season that God has you in. Permission to be in the positions God has gifted you to be in. Changing and embracing those changes of seasons.  I had been feeling that God is about to move me, but for fear of hurting anyone (and because there is comfort in staying where you are) I have kept quiet.  For some reason the enemy likes to use that tactic on me.  If he keeps me silent I wont move or allow God to move in/through me.

Then the next weekend I was given the opportunity to go to a healing conference.  This was an incredible weekend.  I finally found healing, freedom and peace with who I am and who God is making me to be.  The past is in the past, I can look forward and allow God to use me with no fear.  I am no longer the scared little girl who is starting at yet another new school, wondering who will it be that decided to hurt me this time. I am free!  I am the Lords and I am ready to move into His will for my life.

Thank you Lord for never letting me go!

A gift for my boys.

A few years ago I came across a friend from High School and we picked up our friendship as if the 10+ years had never happened.  She taught me how to crochet and it is now one of my biggest hobbies.  Crocheting is something I can do while I work.  I can work on a project as the children play or watch a cartoon, but still be able to watch them and interact with them.  I am working on what I think is going to be one of my best blankets.  It is for my oldest son…..but first I will tell you about the other of my best blankets.

 

My boys LOVE video games.  They think that Mario and the rest are pretty cool.  So I wanted to make each of them an amazing blanket of their favorite character.  This turned out to be an amazing journey.  My youngest son wanted a Mario blanket so my husband and I went on to Pinterest and we found this pattern http://www.instructables.com/id/Blanket-MARIO/   I printed it, picked up the yarn and started working. These are some pictures:

 

So after I finished this my oldest son and husband were excited and went to the computer to started looking for pictures of the other characters they wanted me to make.  My oldest son’s favorite character is Yoshi, so my husband played one of the games until he found me a screen shot.  We printed the picture that he save

 

The nice thing about these characters is that they are made out of pixels.  So I used a piece of graph paper and colored pencils to color the proper colors from the picture.  Then we counted how many across and down to make this guy into a blanket.  I am using 2 1/4 inch squares so that I can get as much detail as possible.  This blanket will end up being a bit bigger than the Mario blanket when I am done.

This is the graph paper pattern I made.

and the tiny little squares.

I can’t wait to finish it and post the pictures.

 

I have made a few other blankets over the last couple of years.  Some are baby blankets for friends.  A blanket for me .  Some just for our house to replace some older ones.  Also family and friends.  I love being able to bless people especially my amazing husband and boys.  It is also nice to keep busy and create.

Summer has begun

Every year I love being a Mom more and more.  I count the days until summer probably more than my boys do.  My favorite days are when they are home with me all day~just can’t help it I love these little men that God has gifted me with.

 

I was afraid that as they got older they would pull away and close themselves off from me, but this hasn’t been the case.  We have gotten closer and our conversations are so wonderful!!  So far this stage (the pre-teen and teenage years) are the best!

 

My excitement was uncontainable yesterday, my boys were going to be starting summer break!  I decided to make their favorite meal and prepare a desert.  So we had “Haystacks”  This is basically all the fixings that go into a taco put on top of chips.  My Mom always used Fritos, but I learned by accident that Spicy Doritos are even better.  We ate and had a wonderful family evening that was topped off with Strawberry shortcake.  It was wonderful!

 

I have so many plans for this summer with my boys.  In a couple of weeks I will only be working 3 days a week (just for the summer) which means that I can take them (just them) on adventures and will be able to enjoy just being a Mom to these amazing men.

 

**~Congratulation's to my boys who successfully completed 4th and 7th grade~enjoy your rest!  I love you and am so thankful for you and who you are!~**

~♥~

Changes

Today (8-31-11) I have a change in my life.  I am not good with change….,but this one I think is for the best.  I know that at first I dug my heals in, cried out to God asking why he was letting this happen again, but I have my clear answer now……because it is time.  We watch all of these “fairytale” or “feel good movies”  where the person comes into someone's life to help make a change in them, that kind of explains my job.  I knew when I got into childcare that I wouldn’t get to keep the kids for more than 2-4 years.  My promise to God was that I would do my best to speak his love and life into the children in my home.  The most important thing for me to do is to plant the seed of God’s love into each child that comes into my home. 

I just got done spending a couple of hours with the new children that I will be providing care for and now I am making lunch and waiting for the children who are here for the last time.  CHANGES!  I have provided care for this family for almost 4 years…they came to me with their 7 month old baby and he is about to have his 5th birthday.  They also brought in there 2nd child (we almost lost momma on this one) and with him I got to see a miracle of God healing his Mother. They then had a change in their hearts that they could help more children and started doing foster care.  I was so excited that I would be a part of it, but they (and God) decided it was time for her to be a stay at home Mom. 

Now today (9-6-11) I have started watching all of my new daycare kids.  It is so much fun and they are so good.  We are having fun and learning a lot.  One of the families is from France.  The children speak mainly French, but are learning English.  It is a new dynamic, but fun.  I have no idea what they are saying some of the time, so there is a lot of guessing going on.  The other family has a baby and a 4 year old.  They all played well together and I can’t wait to start going on field trips.  I have one more starting very soon that wasn’t here today.

There is a peace in my house and I feel that this is going to be a good year.  I have learned from the past 6 years and decided to cut out dinner.  I have been cooking dinner for 8-9 people every evening and most of the kids don’t like what I cook lol.  It was very stressful and wasteful.  Starting tonight I will only be cooking for my family.  I see many other changes coming for my business as well, but this is a good thing.

God is in control and he knew it was time for something to change.

I made yummy yummy chicken Monday night :)

Tonight's dinner

Chicken-boneless skinless breast tenders……seasonings:garlic powder, paprika, onion powder (need to buy some onions ), seasoning salt, Worcestershire sauce.  Cooking it at 415 degrees

Garlic mash potatoes….soymilk, ranch (after I take my portion out), garlic powder

toast, broiled garlic or cheese toast is best

Signs that you now have a teenager living in the house

This morning I found myself facing my son’s door that had a blanket tucked under it.  His answer was “to keep the light from the living room out”.  Memories came flooding back of my sister doing things like that  lol then I came up with this list of funny things my Eric is now doing.  He still has 11 days until he is officially a teenager, but these things have been happening for a while now.  ENJOY!!

 

Signs that you now have a teenager living in the house:

food is disappearing from the house faster than you can buy it or make it

your house seams empty and quiet-even though you know your son is home

strange smells are coming from that room (that you are sure someone lives in)

answers now come in the form of grunts instead of words

reminding them to do their chores is a daily chore for you

You find yourself repeating and repeating and …….well you get the point

They decide to (turn in) for the night with out you telling them to…not that you saw them that evening since they are now staying in their room as long as possible

Signs that this new teenager still needs his mommy

You still get bedtime hugs

They seek you out for a visit

T.V. time can mean snuggle time (I like this one the best)

I love you is still ok, as long as said in the house

Your opinion is still somewhat important (they may not follow your suggestions, but they (at this stage) might listen a bit)

 

 

I love to bake!

I don’t know who reads this or if this will be a helpful post to anyone, but I write it anyway .

 

I love to bake! 

 

I have my symphony music playing in the back ground, little guy playing in the living room and I am baking vegan banana bread.

…………

I love to make things for my family to love and of course for me to eat too.  Now when you cut eggs and dairy out of your diet there are some issues….or are there??

A week ago I decided to try to make some cornbread.  It turned out well, should have cooked it in a pan that was a bit more on the shallow side, but the taste was amazing!  Just put applesauce in place of the eggs.

This morning I found that I had some bananas that no one would eat because they started turning brown and I wanted to make banana bread.  I went in search for a vegan website.  I found http://www.chooseveg.com/ and boy did I hit the jackpot!!!  I found all the recipes I could ever want.  Caesar salad dressing, banana bread, banana muffins…..it keeps going from there.  I learned about a great egg substitute called ener-G.  The great thing was that I can use things I already have in my house. 

Several years ago I gave up the idea of ever having French toast again, but I found an egg free recipe that I plan on trying tomorrow. I hope my family enjoys it along with me.

Now to clean up the house and maybe do some gardening and my afternoon workout.  Have a great weekend.

seasons

The sun woke me up yesterday and today.

My moods seam to change with the seasons.  The dark rainy season went on a bit too long this year for me (spiritually and in nature)…..But in the darkness and the gloominess is when God decided to full fill his promises and answer the prayers of my heart.  Right about the time I had given up.  Human nature is to want it now, but God likes to get us ready.  We have to take baby steps.  He will never give us more than we can handle and I do believe that included blessings.  God wants so much to give us all of our needs and wants, but we must be ready for them.  He wants to bless us, but we have to know what to do with those blessings.

As I sit reflecting on what I have read in my quiet times/devotions I realize that even in the darkest times we are never alone.  God is always there he waits eagerly for us to ask him for his love and his help.

As I type this I am watching my beautiful blue sky getting covered up by a very grey cloud, but just on the other side of the cloud I can see more blue…..a promise that the gloom will go away.  Just like the flowers need the rain to grow so do I.  Spring = the promise of summer.

Everyone knows the famous poem “Footprints in the Sand” the line in it that sticks in my mind today is the last one.  “The Lord replied, ‘The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.’” He promises to carry us.  We may not see or feel him there, but he is with us all the time.

Thank you Lord for your love and your promises to always be with me.  For always hearing my prayers and for taking care of me.  Thank you for the lessons I learn in all the seasons in my life.  I pray you show me what I need to fix, change or do differently to follow your ways……..to be who you called me to be.

Report card time

 

 

My 6th grader got straight A’s this term and my 3rd grader got the equivalent.  (They don’t do letter grades in grade school anymore.)  I am so happy and proud today.

 

 

Just had to brag a bit lol

following my dairy free life

 

 

I feel so much better! 

 

It is crazy to think that I was putting so many bad things into my body just because they tasted good.  I have had no dairy since my last post. 

 Sad things first……I learned that I can’t have chocolate, cookies-unless I make them, my non dairy creamer has a milk protein in it and is making me not feel so well-so good-bye to that too, No more cool ranch Dorito's .   I must go and find some different bread.  I could go on but you get the idea.

 Happy things   I have more energy.  My stomach isn’t upset and gurgling.  Cooking has been fun!  Goat cheese is wonderful ~never thought I would say that~.  My husband is being very supportive.  My Hypoglycemia ~if I ever truly had it~ is gone.  I am not as hungry now~I think my body was unable to digest so many of my foods that it never got nutrition=always hungry.

 The best thing I found out there to eat is called Tofutti cuties  they are a dairy free dessert , made from tofu, that resemble an ice cream sandwich.  YUM!!!!!!

 I made Chili over the weekend.  I followed a recipe that said to use 2-3 tsp. of chili powder.  Me not being a cook thought that chili powder is what makes the ingredients into Chili~found out it is what give it the heat.  Along with the peppers, chili powder and the sprinkle of red peppers I made some pretty hot chili.

 I am very ready to try making cookies and corn meal next.  My Sister-in-law told me how to substitute the eggs with applesauce.

 I went into and bought items for the first time at Trader Joes.  This Friday I will be trying New Seasons and Whole Foods.

This will be a trial and error process, but I am excited. 

yesterday

Once a year I get to sit through an hour of torture for each of my children.  The IEP meeting.  Unless you have ever sat through one you can’t know what a mother is feeling at the time.  They lay out for you how your child is doing.  What their strengths are and then they hit you with what is wrong.  Then the solution.  Every fear that you had, and some that you hadn’t thought of, come crashing over you in a wave of despair.  Is my kid really going through this?

Stephen’s meeting this year was great!  We moved him from being in special ed to being on a 504 plan.  They told me this is unheard of for a 3rd grader with ADHD to move off of special Ed, usually it happens in 5th grade.    He has been less of a disturbance, loves school and has some new really good friends.  He is a social little guy and his grades are great.  My daily worries for him are different than for Eric.  

Asperger’s Syndrome is different.  There is a whole piece that includes social skills missing.  I can’t just put it into him.  He struggles with how to relate to people and that makes school difficult for him.  Yesterday was hard for me, it always is.  I got home, sat down and just cried.  My hands are basically tied, I can’t do anything, but coach him.  I can no longer protect him 24 hours a day.  He now has to figure some things out and get bumps.  His grades are amazing!  If we get some things in order he could be pulling straight A’s.  His teachers are wonderful and they, like all the others before them, just think Eric is the best. 

We are getting ready to send him to Outdoor school for a week.  Yikes!  I wasn’t ready for this, but he was.  His teacher had already arranged that there would be a one on one person with him.  This is wonderful for this mother who worries a lot.  My kid will be ok, just like he was at Church camp. 

We can’t keep our kids in a bubble….they just outgrow it.

After visiting with Eric and Jason I was better.  We also had a small group from our Church here last night and just the love and friendship from that filled my home and heart with peace.  I was able to go to bed feeling lighter and like I could take on the world…..woke up the same way.  God is in control and he is my son’s 24 hour protector, not me.  Who better to watch over my child than his heavenly father.

It will get better as Eric grows and learns.  I can see that now.

Sometimes as a Mom of a child with these unique difficulties I feel so alone.  I am going start taking Eric to a Game club.  It is for children with Asperger’s and the parents get to visit.  I am also going to check out their parent support group.  I will be nice to see if we can meet some other families and maybe Eric can find some wonderful friends who “get” him. 

Everyday is different and has it’s own set of issues and trials, but we will make it.  I see an amazing young man who will invent some amazing things when he is grown up.  We just have to get him through these rough teen years.

Hello I am back :)

Oh my I don’t even know the last time I blogged.   Everything has been great! 

Today I blog on a “serious” note.  Not really, but it is to me.

When I was a little girl I ate eggs and milk everyday.  My mother had to get frequent deliveries from the Swan man for me   lol  this is the truth.  I loved to eat fried eggs, omelets. scrambled eggs.  I drank a lot of milk, ate cheese, ice-cream…..but I was always sick and it just got worse and worse.  The doctor told my Mom to cut out the dairy.     So sad for me.  I am not sure if they didn’t have soy milk or other alternatives, but what I mostly remember is being given water and juice instead.  We tried the little bead things that you put on ice cream (not sure what they were called, I was 10 years old) but they didn’t work-too bad too because it was fun getting ice cream in the mornings  lol .  Any way….at that time it was only the milk.  Then it became cheese-which I still ate.  The worst was when I was pregnant with Eric and realized eggs were doing the same thing, but worse!

So basically what I did to fix the problem was to mostly ignore it unless I was at someone else's house.  See the result from eating the dairy is embarrassing and I didn’t want to get sick at someone else's house or on a trip.  Still happened, but I was very careful.

The reason for this message is I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  It is getting worse and I can no longer ignore what dairy does to me.  I am now on day 2 of being dairy free-well I would be if I had read the dessert label last night ( I now know the difference between sherbet and sorbet).  My stomach is gurgling less and I actually have more energy.  Interesting!  I am going to go shopping tomorrow, by my self, to some new stores to buy some dairy free chesses and other yummy item.  I have two amazing friends and my sister who have given me brands that they use and names of stores that I can find them at.  The big thing to learn is what it is that upsets my stomach.

I was very discouraged but after visiting with them and realizing I live in Portland (we have so many stores within 5-10 miles with these item or more options) I know I can do this.  Now for some trial and error and eating .

I am also looking at my recipes and seeing how I can rework them, so that I am not making 2 meals every time I cook.

This will be a step by step process and will have many errors and mistakes, but I am ready for a change.  Can’t wait to let you know how this all turns out.

My weekend with my guys

My house is quiet this morning and when that rare occurrence happens my mind starts flowing.  I decided last week that it was about time that I take each of my guys out.  I started Friday afternoon, while all the kids were in school.  Jason and I went out on a much needed date.  Claim Jumpers is an amazing restaurant and we found that going in the middle of the afternoon is a bit less hectic then in the evening.  We spent 3 hours just visiting, eating and shopping for needed items.  Sometimes you just need time together just to reconnect.  It was a wonderful day.

That evening Eric and I went in search of  the perfect book to buy with his Gift card he got for Christmas.  We went to the mall in search of Barnes and Noble.  I told him he could have all the time he needed to find a book of his choice and after looking at just about everything he found one.  We went up to the counter and I handed the cashier the gift card and she informed us it was a Borders gift card.  This was a please let the floor open up moment, but a memory made.  We left there in search of some dessert and ended up at a frozen yogurt place where we each enjoyed a bit.  Off to Borders where we got his book.  I had 3 hours of visiting with my son who usually is very quiet or reading.  It was great to learn a bit about my son.

Saturday morning I decided to throw in a Mom time date.  I have had the habit of biting my nail for as long as I can remember and the beginning of November I realized that I had stopped….not sure how but it happened.  I went to treat myself to a Pedicure and Manicure.  It was a great hour of pampering, no phone and no one needing me to do anything for them.

I took Stephen out after getting home.  We went to play miniature golf.  There is a golf course in Happy Valley (just above Clackamas) that has a small course up by their parking lot.  We were the only people there to play miniature golf that day.  It was the perfect day for it.  The sun was out but it wasn’t too warm.  Stephen was more into getting the ball into the water hazards because it meant getting to use the net to get the ball.  It was great!

I learn something new about each of my guys and myself every time it is just us.  Can’t wait for the next Mom/son outing.  More of them are in order as well as more dates with my husband.

♥

There are very few people who truly know the real Stephanie.  I burry my hurts, thoughts and feelings….then only tell bits and pieces to all different people.  Until recently no one person has really known all about me…but the comfort is that the one who created me knows me~even better than I know myself.  I was shown the beauty that He sees when He looks at me, the me that He sees.  I have grown since that day and slowly the outer shell is taken off and I reveal more.  I see beauty and confidence when I look in the mirror now.  The hurts all melt away when I sit in His glory. 

“Who am I that you are mindful of me
That you hear me, when I call
Is it true that you are thinking of me
How you love me, it's amazing
.”~I am a Friend of God

“Cause I'm your beloved,
Your creation,
And You love me as I am.
You've called me, chosen
For Your kingdom.
Unashamed to call me your own-
I'm your beloved.

~Your Beloved

The lord sees my hurts and he gathers my tears.  I can feel his arms wrapped around me saying daughter I am well please with what I created.  Then he sends a sweet message to me through a loved one.  He loves me and I am not alone

Merry Christmas

My heart is filled with love and praise of my Lord and Savior!

In 4 days we will all be celebrating Christmas. his birth.

Then in 4 months his Resurrection and assent into heaven, where He sits at the right hand of God, his father-our father by adoption.  Waiting for his father to say it is time for the wedding~go get your bride.

It is a story told to us many times over our lifetime.  We all have it memorized.

These are two times of the year that I feel the closest to my Lord. 

God gave it all!

God knew when sin entered the world how He would set it right. 

Generations passed away as the promises of God were prophesied. 

Then one day He sent his Angel Gabriel to visit a young girl.

Then a baby was born…not a grown king as they expected, but a baby.

Then about 30 years later was killed on a cross.

Now 2000 years into the future we still celebrate these two events, but also long for the day of his return.

He will return for his Bride and we must be ready!

God’s promises are true! 

He is sending a savior to this world….He is readying our new home.

As you gather together with your families and friends remember why you are gathering.  It isn’t for that perfect gift from the store, but for that perfect gift from God.

Merry Christmas!

Good memories of the past.

 

Our First Christmas

My first Christmas as a married woman, was also my first Christmas as a mother.  We had very little money and didn’t know if we could get a tree.  A tree for a newly married couple means buying the tree, lights, and decorations.  That all added together meant lots of $$$$.  Being newly married I was scared to ask my husband if we could please spare some money and get a tree, we had so many needs at the time.  I wanted it to feel like Christmas and a tree would have done it, I thought. 

I was part of a Mom’s  group at the time and I went to the monthly meeting for December.  They informed us that if we met on a certain night and brought a saw a farmer was donating each of us a tree.  I was so excited, A TREE!  I only had a little car and I knew that the tree wouldn’t fit in there, so I borrowed my dad’s truck.  While asking for the truck I also asked if I could borrow a string of lights and a few decorations from my childhood . 

I loaded Eric up into the truck, he was only 3 months old.  Put Dad’s saw in the back and drove to the location.  I was on time, which is normal for me, but others were late.  They were so late that it was dark when we started out.  We got to the tree farm and it started to rain.  Many of the girls decided that it wasn’t worth is, but I was so desperate to get the tree, that a little rain and dark wasn’t going to stop me.  So I left my sleeping baby in the truck so he would stay warm and set out.  I was on my own with my saw and I found the perfect tree.  I cut it down, by myself and then drug it back to the truck.  I don’t know what anyone else was doing, I had to worry about myself and the baby.  I said goodbye to the leader of the Mom’s group and went on home. 

I put Eric into his swing, which he was already growing too big for, and with Jason’s help drug the tree into our little trailer.  Eric’s eyes got so big.  He couldn’t understand what we were doing.  I wish I could insert a picture here….it was cute, his eyes bulging out of his head  Leaning so far forward in the swing so that he could see everything we were doing.  Jason and I decorated with the decorations, plus the two ornaments I had bought.  Babies first Christmas and Our first Christmas.  My Mom allowed me to go through the Christmas stuff and pick out what was mine to keep and a few to borrow. 

One of the things that my Mom gave me to keep was the angel that I grew up putting on the top of our families Christmas trees.  I kept her safe for many years, but then a tragedy struck and she was ruined.  A replacement, almost exact replica sits on the top of my tree today-how she came to be there is another story.

So here we have an amazing Christmas tree sitting in our house and a very confused baby.  We had a wonderful Christmas that year.  Not because of the tree, but because we were a family and love filled that little home.  I never had to worry about weather or not we would have a tree again.  We have always found a way.

 

I am being flooded with wonderful memories and I can’t wait to write them down.  God is revealing to me who he made me to be through good memories.

~~~~~

I am:

strong, determined, loving, A Mom, A wife, victorious

Tis the season to be busy? or thoughtful???

I am sitting here in amazement that it is the 2nd of December.  Life has been a bit interesting this last month.  I feel like I have been running like a crazy person, but getting no where.  Busy, but nothing getting done.   I can’t believe it was only a month ago that we took a 3 day weekend and relaxed at the coast with my parents.   We were then hit pretty hard with sickness in my house and my daycare.  Grade reports came out as did some old habits of our youngest child.  I welcomed back a daycare child I thought we were going to be loosing due to the bad economy and welcomed in a new child.  A young girl who entered into the foster care system just before her 3rd birthday.  Praise the Lord she was placed with a family that love the Lord and children.  This week has been a whirl wind of activity and newness in my house.  My husband has been really busy at work due to all the Christmas shoppers-this is a good thing as he makes more when it is busy.  Haven't seen him much, but we, as a family, have made sure to make the most of every minute we are together.  There have been readjustments in priorities.  Time spent a bit more wisely. 

In the middle of all of this came Thanksgiving.  This year we had Thanksgiving at our house the four of us.  I wasn’t sure how this would go because we usually either have family/friends over or go to families homes.  We really enjoyed it.  Our families were missed a lot, but it was kind of fun to start some of our own family traditions.  Jason and I worked together to make our dinner.  We gathered together and everyone ate until full and visiting the whole time.  Our dog even got a good sized plate of leftovers.  Jason decided she needed it lol.  We all cleaned up together and then enjoyed relaxing while our tummies settled.

Now Christmas is coming.  Stephen and I went shopping on Black Friday-it sounded like fun lol.  We had a good time and I learned everything that this little man of mine is thinking would be nice to have to for Christmas for him and his brother.  I wanted to try to take the focus off of him and put it onto other people.  He really enjoyed shopping for his Dad and Papa and thinking of what we could get for other members of our family.

I had been hunting and searching for a good way to do advent with my children this year.  They are older and the cute little calendars with the candy inside them seamed like they were more for little kids….I wanted my boys to learn.  I dug on the internet and all I could find were things for like 1st grade and younger to color and make, but no lessons.  Then like an answer to prayer my amazing friend posted a link  to her FB 

here it is:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HolyExperience+%28Holy+Experience%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

We are getting into these short little lessons and really enjoying the time together in the evenings. 

 

I will get some pictures of some of our activities put up soon, I just don’t have the cord for the camera.

 

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!!  ~Steph

A bit of wisdom I just thought I would try

I am learning that when I let go of the worry, let go of the reins, God steps in and makes all things work out.   I have wasted a lot of time worrying about how we are going to do this or that.  Where will the money come from to fix the car, feed us, clothes, dental and vision….everything had become a worry.   Then I looked back and realized those things have always been taken care of….we have never wanted for anything.  

 

I decided to let go. 

 

To stop asking God why we always seam to see a break through in our finances just to have another thing go wrong.  To lean on the one who said He will take care of all of my needs.    ~the promise is there in the Bible~

 

He has more than supplied our needs and is starting to fulfill his promise of fulfilling our desires.  His promise that we would see for sure that it is coming from HIS hands and not ours.  I can see that very clearly!

 

I find that I have more time for the important things.  Like God, my husband, kids…..  When you put God first and follow his plans everything thing else simply falls into place.

 

I don’t know all the plans God has for me, my marriage,  my boys, but I know that it is perfect.  I am loving this journey/season of my life…just hang on and keep looking forward to the one who is leading.  The one who knows what is coming and preparing us for it!  I am a bit excited now!  ♥

 

~Loving the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind and with all my strength

 

Mark 12:30

Watch for up coming blogs…they should be fun

Watch for blogs about my weekends and the non school week with my boys.  We are going to be doing crafts together this weekend and next.  Also all next week they have no school   I am so excited about what we are going to do together to get the house ready for Christmas.  There will be a window craft, making ornaments, baking, making gingerbread houses, and lots more……..  will take lots of pictures of all of our fun!  Most of these will be just the three of us and some will include the daycare kids. 

 

Making the most out of every second with my boys!